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President Obama’s Top 10 of 2015

President Obama’s Top 10 of 2015

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Did your issue make President Obama's list?

President Obama in the spirit of 2015 retiree David Letterman, releases top 10 accomplishments of the Obama administration for 2015.

Hi, everybody. It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Not just for spreading holiday cheer – but also for list makers. You’ve got wish lists; Santa’s list; and of course, a blizzard of year-in-review lists. So I decided to get in on the action.

As a nation, we face big challenges. But in the spirit of 2015 retiree David Letterman, here – in no particular order – are my top 10 things that happened in 2015 that should make every American optimistic about 2016.

10: The economy. Over the past 12 months, our businesses have created 2.5 million new jobs. In all, they’ve added 13.7 million new jobs over a 69-month streak of job growth. And the unemployment rate has fallen to 5 percent – the lowest it’s been in almost eight years.

9: More Americans are getting health coverage. The rate of the uninsured in America dropped below 10 percent for the first time ever. In all, 17.6 million people and climbing have gained coverage as the Affordable Care Act has taken effect. And don’t forget, you can still sign up through January 31st at HealthCare.gov.

8: America’s global leadership on climate change. Last week, in Paris, nearly 200 countries came together to set the course for a low-carbon future. And it was only possible because America led with clean energy here at home and strong diplomacy around the world.

7: Progress in the Americas. We turned the page on an outdated, half-century old policy by re-establishing diplomatic relations with Cuba and reopening embassies in both our countries, allowing us to build greater ties between Americans and Cubans.

6: Preventing the spread of nuclear weapons. We succeeded in forging a strong deal to stop Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon. In fact, Iran has already dismantled thousands of centrifuges that enrich uranium.

5: Standing strong against terrorism. Even as we continue to grieve over the attack in San Bernardino, we’re leading a global coalition and hitting ISIL harder than ever. In Syria and Iraq, ISIL is losing territory, and we’re not going to stop until we destroy this terrorist organization.

4: A 21st century trade deal that makes sure our businesses can sell goods “Made in America” across the Asia-Pacific. The Trans-Pacific Partnership is the strongest, most pro-worker, pro-environment trade agreement in our history. And it means that America – not China, not anyone else – will write the rules of the global economy for the century ahead.

3: A pair of Christmas miracles in Washington! This week, Congress passed a bipartisan budget that invests in middle-class priorities, keeps our military the strongest in the world, and takes the threat of shutdowns and manufactured crises off the table for 2016. Plus, I signed a bipartisan education bill into law to help our students graduate prepared for college and their future careers.

2: Love won. No matter who you are, here in America, you’re free to marry the person you love, because the freedom to marry is now the law in all fifty states.

1: And the number one reason I’m optimistic going into 2016: It’s you—the American people. All of this progress is because of you—because of workers rolling up their sleeves and getting the job done, and entrepreneurs starting new businesses. Because of teachers and health workers and parents—all of us taking care of each other. Because of our incredible men and women in uniform, serving to protect us all. Because, when we’re united as Americans, there’s nothing that we cannot do.

That’s why it’s has been a good year. And it’s why I’m confident we’ll keep achieving big things in the New Year. So happy holidays, everybody.

Assessing your Relationships

Assessing your Relationships

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Don't overlook assessing your relationships asking your partner or spouse the right questions (blackdoctor.org photo)

As the year closes, it is a great time to review and evaluate how things are doing. Most of us are familiar with assessing our productivity, grades, health, weight, or finances, but do we assess our relationships?

I recently had the pleasure of listening to Jack Canfield speak, when he suggested that we check in with our partner or spouse every week with the question, “On a scale of 1-10, how am I (how are we…) doing this week?” He then told us that whenever he suggests this practice, someone in the audience invariably asks, “Why would I want to do that! I don’t want to hear about it!” He then, half in gest, but fully in truth, said, “I’ve found if I don’t ask the question, I’m simply the last guy to know. My mother-in-law, housecleaner, best friend, even the lady at the nail salon will know the answer before me!” We all laughed knowingly.

While asking is one way to find out, often we simply need to take a deeper look or acknowledge what we already know. We avoid doing this because looking deeper might reveal a problem that requires some effort to change. The truth is, however, that if simply “looking” or “listening” reveals a problem, the problem is already there. Nothing improves from neglect. When we illuminate the problem, we have the power to do something about it.

So before you ask your partner (or other important relationships), consider what you already know. Reflect on what you have seen, felt and heard. Assessing the relationship doesn’t just mean looking for what is wrong. Be sure to also acknowledge what is working and what you love and appreciate about your partner.

Health, or a lack thereof, leaves symptoms and signs, even in relationships. This will get you started in noticing:

Observation: Does your partner (or boss or children or parents or siblings or employees or coworkers) seem to be happy or distressed? Are you?

Communication: What has he or she already told you? Has your spouse/partner requested that you work less, go on vacation, help around the house, take better care of yourself or better care of them? Are your words to each other and about each other kind? Do you compliment each other and show your gratitude? Or, is your verbal communication with each other harsh, sarcastic or manipulative? Are your facial expressions and gestures toward one another kind and supportive or judgmental? Have you listened to what the other has been saying? Do you feel heard?

Physical: Do you touch each other in nurturing and intimate ways? Do you hold hands, comfort through a kind touch, hug daily? Are you equally content in the physical expression in your relationship? Has your partner made requests that have been disregarded? Have you?

Time: Do you choose to spend time together? Is there a balance in the time you spend together between work, family, chores, the nurturing of dreams and goals, romance and recreation?

Spiritual: Do you nurture your spirits together? Do you read uplifting content, have deeper conversations, spend time in nature, pray, or celebrate your blessings together?

Imagination: Are the stories you tell yourself about how your partner feels about you positive or negative? Are the thoughts you think about your partner kind and grateful or discouraged and discontent? If you were to guess your partner’s relationship happiness on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being extraordinary, what number do you think they would pick? What number do you pick to rate your own relationship happiness? Usually when one is unhappy, the other is too.

Have you been ignoring anything important?

If your relationships are showing signs of distress, ask yourself, “What can I do to create a healthier relationship?” And, start doing it immediately. A few slight timely adjustments can save you from huge issues, even divorce. Remember, while relationships can be a bit of work, little to none of the “work” is on the other person. If you don’t know what to do, just like anything else you want to improve: study, learn, and practice. There is a wealth of resources available to you.

In my experience, when the goal is to be closer to our loved ones, we either need to practice gratitude, lovingly touch and talk more and/or spend some time in recreation (re-creation) together. Take responsibility for your piece and others will respond differently to you.

If you pay attention, you will find that you are the first to know how your relationships are going. Sometimes the deeper inquiry gives you cause for celebration of a good work in progress. If not, you just discovered what you can give your spouse, family or partner for the holidays and into the New Year… a healthier, happier relationship.

Eve Eschner Hogan is a relationship specialist, and author of several books including The EROS Equation: A SOUL-ution for Relationships. In Real Love with Eve, she shares skills, principles, and tools for creating healthy, harmonious relationships—with friends, family, lovers, co-workers, and the world at large. Her uncommon approach to common sense will help you sail away from ego battles and into the calmer waters of real love. Learn more about Eve's Heart Path retreats at sacredmauiretreats.com.

 

Beverage Calorie Comparison Chart

Beverage Calorie Comparison Chart

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The recommended amounts of calories needed to maintain energy balance varies based on sex, age and level of physical activity (iStock photo)

Very many of us consume a lot of beverages daily. This chart will help you figure out the approximate amount of calories in your daily beverages consumption. Please be aware that the information provided in this article is not meant to replace the advice of a health care professional. If you have specific health concerns, please consult your health care professional.

Common Beverages: Calories per oz. and Calories per 8 fl. oz. serving.

Water & Water Beverages Calories/fl. oz.  Calories/ 8 fl. oz.
Bottled Water 0 0
Municipal Water 0 0
Club Soda 0 0
Tonic Water 10 80
100% Juice Calories/fl. oz. Calories/ 8 fl. oz.
Apple Juice, canned or bottled 15 120
Carrot Juice, canned 12 96
Grape Juice, canned or bottled 19 152
Grapefruit Juice, white, canned 12 96
Lemon Juice, canned or bottled 6 48
Lime Juice, canned or bottled 6 48
Orange Juice (includes fresh, chilled and from concentrate) 14 112
Pineapple Juice, canned 17 136
Tomato Juice, canned 5 40
Juice Drinks Calories/fl. oz. Calories/ 8 fl. oz.
Cranberry Juice Cocktail, bottled 17 136
Fruit Punch Juice Drink, frozen concentrate, prepared with water 16 128
Grape Juice Drink, canned 18 144
Lemonade, powder mix, prepared with water 13 104
Light lemonade, powder (with aspartame), prepared with water 1 8
Light Orange Juice Beverage, bottled 7 50
Orange Juice Drink, bottled 17 136
Vegetable Juice Cocktail 6 48
Milk Calories/fl. oz. Calories/ 8 fl. oz.
Whole Milk 18 144
2% Reduced Fat Milk 15 120
1% Lowfat Milk 13 104
Nonfat Milk 11 88
2% Reduced Fat Chocolate Milk 24 192
Soy Beverages Calories/fl. oz. Calories/ 8 fl. oz.
Soy Milk 16 128
Chocolate Soy Milk 15 120
Soft Drinks Calories/fl. oz. Calories/fl. oz.
Caffeinated Cola 11 88
Decaffeinated Cola 13 104
Diet Cola, caffeinated 0 0
Diet Cola , decaffeinated 0 0
Mid-calorie Cola 6 45
Ginger Ale 10 80
Grape Soda 13 104
Lemon-Lime Soda 13 104
Cream Soda, non-caffeinated 16 128
Tea Calories/fl. oz. Calories/ 8 fl. oz.
Brewed Tea (regular and decaf, black and herb) 0 0
Instant Tea, sweetened with low-calorie sweetener, lemon-flavored, prepared 1 8
Instant Tea, sweetened with sugar, lemon-flavored, prepared 12 92
Ready-to-drink Tea, bottled, sweetened 12 96
Ready-to-drink Tea, bottled, unsweetened 0 0
Coffee & Coffee Drinks Calories/fl. oz. Calories/ 8 fl. oz.
Brewed Coffee (regular and Decaf) 0 0
Brewed Espresso (regular) 1 1
Brewed Espresso (decaf) 0 0
Latte with nonfat milk 10 80
Latte with whole milk 17 136
Sports Drinks Calories/fl. oz. Calories/ 8 fl. oz.
Sports Drink 8 64
Sports Drink, low-calorie 3 24
Energy Drinks Calories/fl. oz. Calories/ 8 fl. oz.
Energy Drink 14 112
Energy Drink, sugar-free 2 12
Alcohol Calories/fl. oz. Calories/ 8 fl. oz.
Beer 15 117
Light Beer 11 81
Red Wine 25 200
White Wine 24 192

There’s more to comparing the nutritional content of beverages than just calories. For a complete nutritional profile of beverages and foods, refer to the USDA online database.

Below are estimated amounts of calories needed to maintain energy balance for various gender and age groups at three different levels of physical activity. The estimates are rounded to the nearest 200 calories and were determined using the Institute of Medicine equation.

Gender

   Age (years)

Sedentaryb Moderately Activec Actived
Child 2-3 1,000 1,000-1,400 1,000-1,400
Female

4-8

 

 

9-13

14-18

19-30

31-50

51+

1,200

 

 

1,600

1,800

2,000

1,800

1,600

1,400-1,600

 

 

1,600-2,000

2,000

2,000-2,200

2,000

1,800

1,400-1,800

 

 

1,800-2,200

2,400

2,400

2,200

2,000-2,200

Male

4-8

 

 

9-13

14-18

19-30

31-50

51+

1,400

 

 

1,800

2,200

2,400

2,200

2,000

1,400-1,600

 

 

1,800-2,200

2,400-2,800

2,600-2,800

2,400-2,600

2,200-2,400

1,600-2,000

 

 

2,000-2,600

2,800-3,200

3,000

2,800-3,000

2,400-2,800

a These levels are based on Estimated Energy Requirements (EER) from the Institute of Medicine Dietary Reference Intakes macronutrients report, 2002, calculated by gender, age, and activity level for reference-sized individuals. "Reference size," as determined by IOM, is based on median height and weight for ages up to age 18 years of age and median height and weight for that height to give a BMI of 21.5 for adult females and 22.5 for adult males.

b Sedentary means a lifestyle that includes only the light physical activity associated with typical day-to-day life.

c Moderately active means a lifestyle that includes physical activity equivalent to walking about 1.5 to 3 miles per day at 3 to 4 miles per hour, in addition to the light physical activity associated with typical day-to-day life

d Active means a lifestyle that includes physical activity equivalent to walking more than 3 miles per day at 3 to 4 miles per hour, in addition to the light physical activity associated with typical day-to-day life.

Read the original article at The Beverage Institute for Health & Wellness and WebMED

 

Coping with Grief & Loneliness Over the Holidays

Coping with Grief & Loneliness Over the Holidays

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Handling grief or loss over the holidays by Billy Graham Evangelistic Association (iStock photo)

"This is my comfort in my affliction, for Your word revives me" (Ps. 119:50, MEV).

Christmas isn't a joyful season for everybody. Grief—whether from loss, loneliness or both—crescendos around this time of year for many, and the deep, emotional pain can seem like almost too much to bear.

Isaiah 53:4 states, "Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows." Jesus carries as much of the burden as we let Him. But in addition to falling into our Savior's loving arms, here are five suggestions to ease your personal Christmas blues or empower you to help someone else dealing with grief and loneliness:

1. Be kind to yourself. Billy Graham likens the death of a loved one to major surgery. But that can also be true regarding the death of a relationship, say a divorce. Healing from any medical operation takes time, and so does finding a new way of life after losing someone close. Leave the decorations in the attic this year if you need to. Find another family member to host Christmas dinner. Most importantly, perhaps, allow yourself to cry—or even scream—out to God as you process. David did in Psalm 61:2. Jesus wept when his friend Lazarus died (John 11:1-44). Your tears aren't a sign of faithlessness. They're a natural and necessary response to your loss. Let God heal you (Matthew 11:28).

2. Adjust your expectations. Anticipate Christmas will be different without your loved one and be proactive about your emotional health. Don't live in fear of your emotions, but take stock of your heart, especially before logging onto Facebook or other social media. Feelings of loneliness have a way of intensifying when you're bombarded by social media posts of your friends apparently having a grand time. Sign off for now if you need to.

If you find yourself in the comforter role this Christmas, keep your words washed in love and extend grace. Whether Uncle John has been gone for seven days, seven months or seven years, your aunt still misses him. Don't wonder (especially aloud) how she can still be sad after all these years. "How are you holding up?" is typically a safe question when talking with someone who has experienced loss. Check out the Sharing Hope in Crisis course from the Billy Graham Rapid Response Team if you're interested in in-depth training for these sensitive situations.

3. Reach out. Sometimes the best way to lift your spirit is by helping someone else. Isolation turns your focus inward. Instead, volunteer with a local church, serve dinner to the homeless or walk your elderly neighbor's dog. Do something to serve. Additionally, if you're aching to have Christmas dinner with others, ask to join a  family member, friend or someone in your church. Remember, it's never a bad idea to offer to bring a dish, supplies or help with cleanup. Alternatively, if you know someone dealing with grief or loneliness, do your part. Give the gift of your time (Galatians 6:2).

4. Say something. Memories linger in your loved ones' absence. Remember the funny stories. Share them. Laugh and cry with your family members and friends as you reminisce. Or don't. If there aren't good memories or it's just too soon, consider finding new traditions and ways to focus forward.  If you're on the outside looking in, don't feel compelled to change the subject if someone mourning brings up good memories about the deceased. Operate cautiously and with sensitivity but above all else be a good listener and don't mind the tears. Memories are precious gifts from God, and they are one of the few ways a loved one's legacy lives on.

5. Cling to the promises of God. Especially when you don't feel like it. Consider John 14:18, which says: "No, I will not abandon you or leave you as orphans in the storm—I will come to you." You might feel forgotten by people, but you aren't forgotten by our heavenly Father. God is here. He sees you grieving. He wants to comfort you. Remind others of that truth. If you aren't familiar with His promises, start by finding peace with God.

Some quotes from Billy Graham on grief:

  • "With Christ as your Savior and constant Companion, you, although alone, need never be lonely."
  • When we grieve over someone who has died in Christ, we are sorrowing not for them but for ourselves. Our grief isn't a sign of weak faith, but of great love."
  • "It is our Lazarus tomb dark and foreboding and drenched with bitter tears, but it is there that we meet our Lord who brings life from death and gladness from the very tomb of bereavement. Christ can give rest in the midst of sorrow."
  • "If there is something we need more than anything else during grief, it is a friend who stands with us, who doesn't leave us. Jesus is that friend."

For the original article, visit billygraham.org.

 

Joy

Joy

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The film is uneven, but Joy knows just who she is. (Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation)
 
The text at the beginning of Joy, the latest film from director David O. Russell (American Hustle, Silver Linings Playbook), says it is “inspired by the true stories of daring women . . . one in particular.”
Jennifer Lawrence, Edgar Ramirez, Elisabeth Rohm, Dashca Polanco, Isabella Rossellini, Robert De Niro, and Diane Ladd in 'Joy'
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation
Jennifer Lawrence, Edgar Ramirez, Elisabeth Rohm, Dashca Polanco, Isabella Rossellini, Robert De Niro, and Diane Ladd in 'Joy'
That “one” is Joy Mangano, played here by Jennifer Lawrence, who is always fun to watch and certainly holds the film together. The character and her story are based on Mangano’s true story of inventing the Magic Mop, hawking it on the still-new QVC, and overcoming difficulty to become a business mogul able to support other inventors and entrepreneurs.
 
Russell makes weird and frenetic movies that aren’t to everyone’s taste. They lurch around a bit and at times seem more infatuated with style than substance or coherence. That shows up again in Joy, which is narrated by Joy’s grandmother (Diane Ladd) and includes a montage introduction and a couple early black-and-white scenes from a melodrama, shot in soap opera style. Soon we segue into a whirling-dervish madcap romp through Joy’s house, with Joy as the axis, populated by a motley crew of relatives: Joy’s two children and her grandmother Mimi; Joy's ex-husband (Edgar Ramirez), an aspiring singer who still lives in the basement long after the divorce; her mother, Terry (Virginia Madsen), who stays in bed and watches soap operas; her father Rudy (Robert De Niro, another Russell regular), who’s moving back in after his latest split—though he’ll have to share space with his ex-son-in-law, whom he sometimes-cordially hates. (Good thing he swiftly finds a new girlfriend in Trudy, played by Isabella Rossellini.) The family also includes Joy’s half-sister Peggy (Elisabeth Rohm), who manages Rudy’s auto repair shop and is by turns affectionate and undermining toward Joy’s efforts.
Jennifer Lawrence, Edgar Ramirez, Elisabeth Rohm, Dashca Polanco, Isabella Rossellini, Robert De Niro, and Diane Ladd in 'Joy'
Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation
Jennifer Lawrence, Robert De Niro, and Edgar Ramirez in 'Joy'
As it turns out, she learned that behavior from the family more generally. We come to understand that Joy was a gifted child with big aspirations and an active imagination, an inventor from her youth. But time and circumstance have left her, still young and vibrant, with a lot of mouths to feed and egos to placate. Those egos delight in tearing down her aspirations in the most passive-aggressive manner I can imagine (consider this your trigger warning).
 
But Joy is scrappy and persistent, and she fights her way onto QVC, still a fledgling network headed by Neil Walker (Bradley Cooper, of course). What follows is ups and downs, excruciating failure and exhilarating success, licensing debacles and mismanagement and tense negotiations. In Lawrence’s portrayal of Joy, she’s a tired, determined woman with a lot of charm and grit and desperation who can still be reduced by those she loves to a puddle of despair. What we’re watching is not the building of an empire, but a woman coming into her own.
 
That part of the film is cathartic and enjoyable, if unevenly told. Yet it leaves us with a lot of desires. For instance, I want a film about all the personalities around QVC, and around Mangano’s own later business ventures. Futures are hinted at that seem terribly interesting, enough that in this age of film-to-TV, you can’t help wonder if a series is lurking in someone’s mind. (Given how character-driven it is, the film would work splendidly, and probably be received more warmly by both audiences and critics, as an offbeat prestige comedic drama.) I want a coherently-told story; I don’t want the feeling of rushing from scene to scene.
 
lisabeth Rohm, Jennifer Lawrence, and Robert De Niro in 'Joy'
 
 
 
 
 
 
Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation
Elisabeth Rohm, Jennifer Lawrence, and Robert De Niro in 'Joy'
At the film's core is our favorite sort of story as Americans, a good old-fashioned pull-up-your-bootstraps, rags-to-riches tale of rising from humble circumstances through sheer force of will. And to tell you the truth, I was into it. By the end of Joy I felt strangely similar to the end of American Hustle—frustrated by the filmmaking, but enamored of the characters, except I didn’t feel dirty for rooting for the main character. In fact, I felt an affinity to her. I wanted to be like her. That’s the point: she’s a daring woman and meant to be an inspiration, and thankfully, she really is. (The real Joy Mangano, by the way, currently holds more than 100 patents.)
Robert De Niro, Bradley Cooper, and Jennifer Lawrence in 'Joy'
 
Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation
Robert De Niro, Bradley Cooper, and Jennifer Lawrence in 'Joy'
And so, even though Joy never really seems to figure out what sort of a movie it is, it’s still a lot of fun to watch—mostly because the woman at its center knows exactly who she is.
 
Caveat Spectator
The film is rated PG-13 for brief strong language, which is exactly what it sounds like: expletives. Otherwise, it’s all family drama.
Alissa Wilkinson is Christianity Today’s chief film critic and an assistant professor of English and humanities at The King’s College in New York City. She is co-author, with Robert Joustra, of How to Survive the Apocalypse: Zombies, Cylons, Faith, and Politics at the End of the World (Eerdmans, May 2016). She tweets @alissamarie.
 
Let Christmas Be Complicated

Let Christmas Be Complicated

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We often overlook the tragic backdrop to Jesus' birth. (Photo: ECWA Archive)

I have always loved the color gray. All my favorite hoodies, sweatpants, and T-shirts are gray. One Christmas shopping trip, my fashion-savvy mother tried to get me to “please, pick some color besides gray—something bright!” As much as I try to branch out, there is something inexplicably comfortable and comforting about the color. I feel at home in it.

Much later, the world itself seemed to turn gray. After six months of struggling with depression and self-hatred in a country that wasn’t my own, I returned home to find my nicely packaged view of how the world works shattered. Gone was the God who did things “for a reason,” the God who, if he called you to a place, would give you a deep contentment, even if circumstances were difficult.

My relationship with God went through a fundamental shift then, and the way I see the world has never been the same. As I struggle off and on with depression, I live through seasons of lighter and darker shades of gray. Instead of rose-colored glasses, I see the world through a dimming and dulling filter.

But even as the world has turned gray, it has also become more complex. It is in some ways too simple to say that I’ve gone from seeing the world as “black and white” to seeing it as gray. Of course, as a Christian, I affirm that some things are black and white; there is both real evil and real good in the world. But beyond that, evil and good can become so entangled in this time-between-times that it can be difficult to see where one ends and the other begins. Seeing the world through the lens of Scripture demands we recognize this shades-of-gray complexity of our world.

The human minds craves simplicity. We tend to simplify otherwise complex situations so that solutions are clear to us. Whether it’s terrorist attacks in Paris or protests against racism on college campuses, we find comfort knowing what the response ought to be, not to mention why it happened in the first place. We simply need more air strikes and more surveillance. We need to stop accepting refugees. We need less war, not more. We need to stop coddling students with political correctness.

I see this simplification happen on a personal level too, with well-intended attempts to explain or answer our suffering. Think of the clichés: God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. Everything happens for a reason. It was just her time. Behind these sentiments, we find the good desire to affirm that God loves us and has our best interests at heart. But too often such simplifications—of individual suffering or suffering on a larger scale—belie our need to control the narrative. If we can oversimplify the situation, then we can understand it and protect ourselves. But in a world tainted by sin, circumstances are rarely that straightforward, as we learn from Scripture itself.

Many have recently invoked Joseph, Mary, and Jesus in their flight to Egypt as “Middle Eastern refugees,” in parallel to present-day refugees. And yet, their story—even in the pages of the New Testament—isn’t an isolated account of a happy-ending journey. What about the other babies and families of Matthew 2, those left behind to suffer the consequences of King Herod’s lust for power? What’s the reason for that? It is easy to see why this part of the story is often left out of our Advent retellings. In the midst of the joy and hope surrounding Jesus’ birth, we find the insertion of one of the most brutal acts depicted in the New Testament.

This detail doesn’t get included as a casual aside. Matthew tells us twice that Herod is fulfilling prophecy. First, Jesus’ family flees to Egypt, having been warned of the danger. This fulfills Hosea 11:1, “Out of Egypt I called my son.” Second—and even more striking—is the “fulfillment” of the words of Jeremiah:

A voice was heard in Ramah,
Weeping and great mourning,
Rachel weeping for her children;
And she refused to be comforted,
Because they were no more.

Imagine one of those Jewish mothers of Bethlehem. Her one-year-old son, having made it through those first few critical months of life, has been taken by her own king, his life snuffed out in the offhand chance that he might pose a threat. And she was powerless to stop it. She did not have the benefit of the warning that Joseph received. Perhaps she didn’t have the means to flee even if she had been warned. Now imagine had she been told that her suffering and loss fulfilled a prophecy, that it’s part and parcel of the sending of God’s Anointed One, part of God’s “plan.” It rings a bit hollow, doesn’t it?

The questions abound: What about Herod? Ultimately, his acts fulfill the prophecies. Or do they? Just because this is the way it happened, is this the way it had to happen? Could God have fulfilled the prophecies in another way? Let’s put it even more strongly: Did God want those babies to die? Is Matthew implying he did? Like any time we try to grapple with the hows and whys of God’s plan, these are tough questions. There aren’t easy answers. And perhaps that is precisely the point.

Too often we read Scripture expecting nice, neat packages. I suspect this is why some Christians struggle with the Old Testament, where it’s harder to grasp the “whys” behind the tough stories. But Scripture mirrors the complexity of the human situation it is meant to address. And Scripture often whispers, even when we would prefer that it shout.

This Advent and Christmas, I am challenging myself to pay attention to the silences of Scripture—the places where Scripture invites us to ask questions, to wrestle with the text, to wrestle with God, as Jacob did. In the shades of gray, I can listen for the Spirit to whisper in the details I might otherwise overlook.

John Calvin spoke of Scripture as “spectacles” that teach us to see God and the world rightly. As we allow Scripture to shape our vision, we may find that we no longer need the easy answers, the clichéd responses, the knee-jerk reactions. We may find ourselves able to sit and be silent.

Once upon a time, not far from Bethlehem, another prophecy was fulfilled: a strong empire executed a lowly criminal, with the religious leaders cheering them along the way. Many in that time thought they could see the distinctions between black and white. It took a resurrection to open their eyes. We too live in a time when “we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror.” Let us pray for eyes to see the world in all its complexity…until that time when “we shall see face to face” (1 Cor. 13:12).

Mandy Rodgers-Gates is a Th.D. candidate at Duke Divinity School and a Wheaton College graduate. She wrote one of the winning posts in Her.meneutics' writing contest this summer.

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North Korea Sentences Canadian Megachurch Pastor to Life in Prison

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by Sarah Eekhoff Zylstra Toronto pastor who made hundreds of humanitarian trips dodges death penalty. (Pastor Hyeon-Soo Lim | Light Korean Presbyterian Church)

North Korea has sentenced the pastor of one of Canada's largest churches to life in prison.

Hyeon-Soo Lim, leader of 3,000-member Light Korean Presbyterian Church in suburban Toronto, has been held by North Korea since January, and allegedly confessed in August to conspiring against the government of Kim Jong-Un.

KCNAAccording to the official Korean Central News Agency (KCNA), state prosecutors argued for the death penalty against Lim in Wednesday’s 90-minute trial at the nation's supreme court, reports The New York Times. The defense begged for mercy, pointing to Lim as a fellow Korean and his alleged confession. Lim’s lawyers asked for a life sentence "so that he can witness for himself the reality of the nation of the Sun as it grows in power and prosperity," reports Reuters.

The government accused Lim of “trying to use religion to destroy the North Korean system,” among other charges, reports CBC News.

KCNA posted photos of the trial.

The Canadian foreign affairs department called the sentence “unduly harsh” in light of Lim's "age and fragile health."

Lim's megachurch has asked Canada's new prime minister, Justin Trudeau, to advocate on the imprisoned pastor's behalf.

—–

[Originally published on August 3 at 11:50 a.m., entitled “North Korea Reveals Why It Captured Canadian Megachurch Pastor | After hundreds of humanitarian trips, Toronto pastor has been detained since January.”]

After being detained since January, the pastor of one of Canada's largest churches has allegedly confessed to a “subversive plot” to overthrow the North Korean government and to set up a new “religious state,” reports The New York Times.

Hyeon-Soo Lim, leader of 3,000-member Light Korean Presbyterian Church in suburban Toronto, spoke both at a press conference and later at a church service, according to reports by the Hermit Kingdom's state news agency.

"The worst crime I committed was to rashly defame and insult the highest dignity and the system of the republic," Lim told a Pyongyang congregation, apparently reading from a script.

Detaining Christian foreigners is somewhat of a North Korean tradition, but accusing them of planning to set up a theocracy is new, AsiaNews said.

Lim has been held by the North Korean government since January, when the 60-year-old was scheduled to spend a few days there on humanitarian work. His church has worked in North Korea for almost 20 years, and Lim has made hundreds of trips to oversee a nursing home and orphanage there, said church spokesperson Lisa Pak.

"That's the most that we know, that the press conference happened and he admitted, I use that word very lightly, to some charges," Pak told Reuters.

The church released a statement after Lim’s confession:

The family and church are eager to have Mr. Lim home after close to 7 months in detention in the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea. There are no comments regarding the charges and allegations made against Mr. Lim except that the humanitarian aid projects that Mr. Lim has both initiated and supported in the DPRK have been for the betterment of the people. It is this tremendous love for the people of the DPRK that motivated Mr. Lim to travel to the nation over 100 times. He remains a compassionate and generous man and we hope to see him home soon. We are grateful for all those who share in our concerns and ask for your continued prayers and support.

Lim was born in South Korea, and immigrated to Canada with his family in 1986, where he helped to grow his church from five families to more than 3,000 people.

“You can imagine that, being ethnically Korean, there is a personal investment in the people of Korea,” Pak told the Toronto Star when he was first detained. She told CNN it was unlikely that Lim was proselytizing while he was there.

"He knows the language, he knows the nature of the government, so we don't see that as a legitimate reason that he would be detained," she said. "We don't believe that's the way he would have behaved. He's very wise about that."

The Canadian government has severed consular ties with North Korea, but Sweden has an embassy in Pyongyang and does some diplomatic work for Canada. Reuters reported in March that the Swedish ambassador was pressing for a meeting with an unidentified Canadian citizen detained there.

"We continue to advocate for consular access and for a resolution in his case," stated Canada’s Foreign Affairs department.

Lim follows a spate of Western missionaries who have been arrested in North Korea, which has spent the last 13 years topping Open Doors’ World Watch List as the worst place for Christians to live. An estimated 70,000 Christians are held in prison camps there.

In November, the North Korean government released American missionary Kenneth Bae after two years in captivity. Also in 2014, North Korea detained American Jeffrey Fowles for leaving behind a Bible, and arrested and released Australian missionary John Short, 75, for spreading Bible tracts near a Buddhist temple in Pyongyang.

American missionary Robert Park deliberately got himself arrested and spent six weeks in a North Korean prison in 2010, saying his goal was “to proclaim Christ’s love and forgiveness” to Kim Jong Il and to call for the release of political prisoners. "My hope was, through sacrifice, that maybe there would be repentance and people could come together to address issues in North Korea," Park told CT in an exclusive interview.

South Korean Baptist missionary Kim Jong-Uk is still imprisoned after after receiving a life sentence in June for allegedly working with underground churches.

Go to Christianity Today for the original article.

 

Top 12 Cholesterol-Lowering Foods

Top 12 Cholesterol-Lowering Foods

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by Dr. Josh Axe. What you need to know about cholesterol and the foods that can keep it in check (photo, ECWA Archive).
 
Cholesterol is often one of the most misunderstood aspects of heart health. For many people, a cholesterol-lowering diet brings to mind low-fat meals that lack flavor. However, as you’ll come to see, this couldn’t be further from the truth!
 
When it comes to lowering high cholesterol naturally, strictly avoiding all fats is not the answer. Even totally avoiding foods that contain cholesterol itself (like eggs or cheese) isn’t necessary the solution. It’s all about moderation and balance—eating a combination of nutrient-dense foods that fight inflammation and tackle the root of the problem.
 
You’ll be happy to know that cholesterol-lowering foods include all sorts of great-tasting fruits, vegetables, legumes, whole grains, fish, lean meats, and plenty of healthy sources of fat.
 
What causes high cholesterol?
First and foremost, it's necessary to clear up common misconceptions about what causes high cholesterol in the first place. For several decades, a widely held belief has been that dietary cholesterol is associated with an increased risk for coronary heart disease (CHD). This led government-mandated dietary recommendations to limit cholesterol intake to no more than 300 milligrams per day for healthy adults. However, based on recent evidence, there are some serious challenges regarding the cholesterol limit—leading to discussions about revising the national recommendation.
 
While factors like genetics, inactivity, diabetes, stress, and hypothyroidism can all impact cholesterol levels, a poor diet is the number one cause for high cholesterol. Unfortunately, the standard American or Western diet is highly inflammatory, which elevates LDL (bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL (good cholesterol) in most cases—the opposite of what we want.
 
How exactly does inflammation cause cholesterol levels to rise?
Cholesterol is a naturally occurring substance that is present in all of us and crucial for survival. It’s made by the liver and required by the body for the proper functioning of cells, nerves, and hormones. Cholesterol in our body is present in the form of fatty acids (lipids) that travel through the bloodstream. These particles normally don’t build up in the walls of the arteries, but when inflammation levels go up, low-density lipoprotein (LDL) builds up in the arteries and dangerously forms plaque clots, cutting off blood flow and setting the scene for a heart attack or stroke.
 
Cholesterol itself wouldn’t be nearly as dangerous without inflammation. Inflammation is the primary cause of atherosclerosis, the hardening of arteries that accompanies plaque deposits, which produces even more inflammation. Inflammation is at the root of most diseases, and heart disease is no exception.
 
While we used to think that high-fat diets led to high cholesterol levels, we now know that only certain people have problems properly metabolizing cholesterol (which might increase plasma LDL cholesterol levels). Countries such as Australia, Canada, New Zealand, Korea, India, and those in Europe don’t include a dietary cholesterol limit in their guidelines. And for good reason—strong evidence demonstrates that dietary cholesterol is not correlated with an increased risk for heart disease in most cases.
 
Aside from these certain individuals who are more sensitive to dietary cholesterol, it’s estimated that about three-quarters of the population can remain totally healthy while eating more than 300 milligrams per day of cholesterol. In fact, eating plenty of healthy fats will raise HDL cholesterol, the “good kind,” and increase the LDL/HDL cholesterol ratio, which are two key markers of general health.
 
Patients at an increased risk for cardiovascular diseases might need to limit their intake of cholesterol and saturated fats, but everyone else is better off focusing on limiting their intake of processed, packaged junk! Data shows that the impact of lowering dietary cholesterol is small compared to adjusting other important dietary and lifestyle factors.
 
What do all cholesterol-lowering foods have in common?
There’s no shortage of diet plans available online and in bookstores that promise the ability to lower cholesterol. Therapeutic Lifestyle Changes (TLC), for example, is a three-part plan that attempts to lower high cholesterol by focusing on a lower-fat diet coupled with exercise and weight control. Creators of TLC report that following this plan can lower LDL cholesterol by 20 to 30 percent. The DASH Diet, low in sodium and saturated fat, is another option that’s endorsed by the American Heart Association and proven to lower high blood pressure.
 
What foods do most cholesterol-lowering diets make you say good-bye to, and what can stay?
For starters, foods with trans fats and hydrogenated oils are the opposite of cholesterol-lowering foods and definitely need to stay off the table. Many plans also recommend avoiding foods with saturated fats, however this isn’t always necessary for everyone if the foods are natural and high quality, as explained above. In their place, monounsaturated fats (MUFAs) and polyunsaturated fats (PUFAs) are recommended. These include foods like benefit-rich avocados, olive oil, nuts, and seeds.
 
Aside from switching up your fat sources, one of the key elements to fighting high cholesterol is eating plenty of high-fiber foods. Fiber is found in all types of whole foods including vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and legumes. Where is fiber missing? In processed foods that are refined and full of sugar—including most breakfast cereals, pastries, breads, rolls, pasta, cookies, and granola bars.
 
When it comes to protein sources, “lean” is usually the name of the game. Healthy lean proteins include pasture-raised poultry like turkey or chicken, fish and other seafood, beans, and, yes, even eggs. While I’m not a fan myself, the DASH Diet and TLC both promote low-fat milk products, including yogurt and reduced-fat cheeses. For the average person, it’s also perfectly healthy to eat grass-fed animal products as part of an otherwise balanced diet, including beef and lamb.
 
This way of eating is closely related to the Mediterranean Diet—one of the most highly recommended dietary plans that doctors prescribe to their high-cholesterol patients. People in the countries surrounding the Mediterranean region rely heavily on eating what’s sourced and grown locally, rather than packaged foods that are full of refined vegetable oils, sugar, sodium, and artificial ingredients.
 
Historically, levels of heart disease are much lower in countries other than in the U.S., despite the fact that most people still eat a substantial amount of fat. Because of the diversity, flexibility, and adaptable approach to this style of eating, it’s easy to begin and to stick with. Also, the food tastes great!
 
Foods to Avoid for High Cholesterol
The key to lowering heart disease risk factors, including high cholesterol, is reducing inflammation. Inflammatory foods include:
  • packaged foods of all kinds
  • sugar
  • refined grain products
  • processed vegetable oils
  • conventional dairy products (nonorganic, homogenized, and pasteurized)
  • farm-raised animal products
  • too much caffeine or alcohol
As mentioned above, fiber and antioxidants are crucial to keeping arteries clear and healthy. Increased intake of dietary fiber is associated with significantly lower prevalence of cardiovascular disease and lower LDL-cholesterol concentrations. Research also shows that some specific compounds found in plant foods, including plant sterol/stanol and isoflavones, can help reduce cholesterol levels. Most processed foods are extremely low in both—and the kinds that do have fiber or antioxidants normally contain synthetic, added types.
 
Poor quality animal products are highly inflammatory, as are toxic oils that are made using chemicals and solvents. Alcohol, sugar, and caffeine are all stimulants that the liver can use to produce more cholesterol, increasing levels of inflammation. While these can be okay in small doses (such as 1 to 2 cups of coffee or a glass of red wine per day), overdoing it can counteract any cardioprotective benefits these ingredients might normally have.
 
Top 12 Cholesterol-Lowering Foods
1. Vegetables (Especially Greens!)
No doubt about it, nutrient-dense, anti-inflammatory vegetables are one of the most high-antioxidant foods. Loaded with phytochemicals that fight free radical damage, they slow down the aging process and keep arteries flexible and healthy. Many dark leafy greens, like spinach and kale, contain very few calories but offer protection against heart attacks by helping artery walls stay clear of cholesterol buildup. While nearly every type is a good choice, vegetables—including benefit-rich beets, onions, cabbage, broccoli, and artichokes—are especially useful for upping your fiber intake and protecting heart health.
 
2. Nuts
Nuts of all kinds make a good source of healthy polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats. They also provide a decent amount of fiber. Certain nuts including almonds specifically supply antioxidant flavonoids, plant-based compounds that improve artery health and reduce inflammation. Studies show nuts have a consistent “bad” LDL cholesterol-lowering effect, especially in individuals with high cholesterol and diabetes. They can help prevent damage forming within artery walls and protect against dangerous cholesterol plaque buildup, in addition to fighting weight gain and obesity.
 
3. Chia Seeds and Flaxseeds
Flaxseed benefits extend to being the richest source of the plant-based omega-3 fatty acid called alpha-linolenic acid (ALA). They also rank number one in terms of providing hormone-balancing lignans. Both chia and flaxseeds are extremely high in soluble and insoluble fiber, which can support detoxification and gut health and help with weight loss.
 
The soluble fiber content helps trap fat and cholesterol in the digestive system so that it is unable to be absorbed. Bile is then excreted through the digestive system, forcing the body to make more, using up excess cholesterol in the blood and lowering cholesterol overall. Use some seeds on your oatmeal, yogurt, in baked goods, or blended into smoothies.
 
4. Olive Oil
Olive oil benefits include being another anti-inflammatory ingredient that’s full of heart-healthy monounsaturated fatty acids which lower LDL cholesterol. Use extra virgin olive oil to make homemade salad dressings, add some to sauces, or use it as a flavor-boosting ingredient for stir-fries or marinades.
 
5. Avocados
Avocados are one of the world’s greatest sources of heart-healthy monounsaturated fat, the type that can help raise HDL cholesterol while lowering LDL. Avocados also contain high levels of soluble fiber and stabilize blood sugar levels, in addition to supplying anti-inflammatory phytochemicals such as beta-sitosterol, glutathione, and lutein. Besides making guacamole, get creative with these avocado recipes and add it to smoothies, salads, eggs, or even desserts.
 
6. Salmon
As one of the world’s best sources of anti-inflammatory omega-3 fats, the nutrition of salmon is also valuable because it’s linked to lower rates of heart disease, cognitive disorders, depression, and many other conditions. Other sources of omega-3 fatty acids include fatty fish like sardines, mackerel, and herring. All can help raise good cholesterol while also supporting a healthy weight and better brain function.
 
7. Gluten-Free Whole Grains
One hundred percent whole grains are tied to better heart health, mostly because they are a great source of fiber. However, because gluten is a common sensitivity and can promote inflammation, I recommend focusing on gluten-free grains like quinoa, rolled oats, buckwheat, and amaranth. These tend to be easier to digest, can be used in all the same ways as wheat or wheat flour, and provide plenty of nutrients, too. Oats, for example, contain a compound called beta-glucan, a substance that absorbs cholesterol.
 
8. Green Tea
Green tea is considered the number-one beverage for antiaging. Not only is it a rich source of cancer-fighting antioxidants, it’s also supportive for heart health since it prevents LDL cholesterol levels from rising. Epidemiological studies suggest that drinking green tea can help reduce atherosclerosis and risk of heart disease, lower blood pressure, reduce inflammation in arthritis cases, and also improve bone density and brain function.
 
9. Beans and Legumes
Beans are known for packing in fiber, which slows the rate and amount of absorption of cholesterol. They also contain antioxidants and certain beneficial trace minerals that support healthy circulation. Try nutritious black beans, chickpeas, kidney beans, mung beans, and other varieties in soup, salads, and, of course, hummus!
 
10. Turmeric
Consider turmeric the king of all spices when it comes to fighting inflammation. Turmeric benefits include lowering cholesterol, preventing clots, fighting viruses, killing free radicals, increasing immune health, balancing hormones, and more. Turmeric contains the active ingredient called curcumin, which has been studied in regards to protection against numerous inflammatory diseases including heart disease, cancer, ulcerative colitis, arthritis, and more.
 
11. Garlic
Garlic is one of the most well-researched heart healthy ingredients available. For example, the benefits of raw garlic has been shown to reverse disease because of its antioxidant, antiinflammatory, antiviral, antidiabetic, and immune-boosting properties! Garlic has been found to lower cholesterol, prevent blood clots, reduce blood pressure, and protect against infections, so use some every day however you can, whether in sauces, soups, roasted veggies, or marinades.
 
12. Sweet Potatoes
Sweet potatoes provide a good dose of filling, artery-sweeping fiber in addition to loads of vitamins and antioxidants. They’re also low in calories, low on the glycemic index (which means that they won’t spike your blood sugar), and high in potassium.

Dr. Josh Axe is a C.N.S. Certified Nutrition Specialist, expert in Natural Medicine, a speaker for Fortune 500 Companies (Nissan, Whole Foods) and a doctor of chiropractic. He is a nationally sought-after speaker, bestselling author of The Real Food Diet Cookbook, a Physician for Olympic level athletes (Ryan Lochte, among others) and a regular contributing writer for one of the largest U.S. natural supplement companies, Garden of Life. He’s the founder of draxe.com, which is the #9 most visited natural health site in the entire world.
 
Go to Aloha. for the original article.
 
Writing a Letter of Forgiveness

Writing a Letter of Forgiveness

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An adapted excerpt from Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges by Lori Deschene (Bigstuck Photo)

All my romantic relationships have ended quickly and painfully. I often compared the new men in my life to the old ones. From my former boyfriends’ mistakes, I always found a reason to walk away from the current one. I even occasionally returned to old boyfriends in hopes that things would change, but they never did. Over time, the anger of past injustices reappeared many times, and I couldn’t overcome it.

A few years ago, I decided to make a change for myself. I stopped communication with all my exes to rid the poison I thought they brought to my life. At first it was liberating, but soon the old feelings of regret and pain came back. I couldn’t stop being a victim and feeling hurt for what was done to me. I finally understood that the only way to be truly free from anger was through forgiveness.

This year, I started writing letters to each of the men whom I’d loved and then hated for so long. I told them my feelings, good and bad, and apologized for the part I played in ending each relationship. Lastly, I forgave them for the mistakes they made- the mistakes that haunted me for years. I sealed each letter with a wish for their happiness and a kiss. I have never felt more content and free than when I placed those letters in the mail. It gave me the resolution that I needed, to say what my heart felt in its entirety and let go.

As I finished sending the last letter, I knew that my heart was ready to love without the burden of past misfortune. I can finally give myself completely to love without excuses or being a victim.

Reflections from Sara O.

I met my ex-boyfriend while we were both in recovery for alcoholism. We dated for a few months until he relapsed. There were always two voices in the back of my head: one telling me this relationship wasn’t healthy and I needed to walk away, and the other telling me to stick it out. That second voice told me I could lead by example, that if he could see how I was improving my life by being sober, he would do the same.

I kept holding on tighter, afraid he would leave and that I wasn’t good enough. When he did leave, abruptly, I was devastated. I expected him to fill that void that was still inside me, despite all the work I was doing on myself. My codependency flared up in all sorts of unhealthy ways: stalking Facebook, obsessing over what I could have said or done to make him stay, resting all my self-worth on his opinion of me. I was against feeling anger toward him because I felt I deserved to be treated this way.

With time, a network of support, and my higher power, I went back to the basics of my program: one day at a time. Each day was a struggle, redirecting my thoughts from negative/obsessive to reflective/self-loving. Eventually, I acknowledged and felt my anger and could let him go. When I find myself wanting to check on him or obsess, I redirect my thinking to my progress and what I could do with this experience to help others. I choose not to hold on to the negativity of that relationship but the self-awareness and love I’ve cultivated thus far in myself.

Today, I thank him for leaving. What I’ve learned by feeling and releasing my anger and choosing to forgive is that people come in and out of our lives every day, and they all teach us something about ourselves. If we’re open-minded, we can reap the benefits and in turn, help others.

Challenge:

  • On a separate piece of paper, write a letter of forgiveness to someone toward whom you’ve felt bitter and angry (to send or to burn as an act of release).

For reflection:

  • What are some things you’ve wanted to tell this person about their actions and how they affected you?
  • What’s prevented you from sharing these things in the past?
  • If you’d like to maintain a relationship with this person, what, if anything, do you need from them to do that?

How did it go?

  • Was this a cathartic experience for you? Did you decide to send or burn the letter?

Reflections from Stephanie Hauck. From Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges. Copyright © 2015 by Lori Deschene. Reprinted with permission by HarperOne, a division of HarperCollinsPublishers.

 

Healthy Dating Practices for the New Year

Healthy Dating Practices for the New Year

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This is what it means to date with intentionality and maturity (photo © Glow of Love by Angela D. Coleman)
 
There are plenty of unhealthy ways to date, so I've compiled 10 healthy dating practices that I believe cut to the core of what it means to date with intentionality and maturity.
 
1. Date with intention.
This is going to be for the best of both parties involved. Dating isn't a game, and the last thing you want to do is get in a relationship with someone when your intentions are anything but pure. If you're just looking for fun, I'd recommend you be open and honest about your intentions with anyone you meet or connect with. It's only fair to them and their emotions.
 
2. Make sure your first date is in a public place.
You just never know who you're going to meet. I'd recommend your first date be in a public place in front of lots of people and I'd even recommend you let your friends know where you will be in case something were to happen. You never know who the person you've chatted with on the phone might act in person, and the last thing you want to happen is end up in a private place with someone whose motives are anything but respectful.
 
3. Try to learn as much as you can before meeting them.
Yes, the beauty of social media. If they have public profiles, then make sure to do your due diligence and research as much as you can about the person. It only makes sense to do a little Facebook stalking to see whom you're meeting with. Come on, we've all done it. While someone's online profiles might not always match up with how they act in person, it's always a good idea to see how someone presents themselves online and it may give you the opportunity to end a date before it even starts. Better to be safe than sorry.
 
4. Value the input of your friends and family.
Your friends and family play a valuable role in your dating life, and it's always good to get their opinions when it comes to the person you are dating. Mind you, they might always give the best advice but it's always good to get wisdom from the people who are looking out for your best interest.
 
5. Continue to stay social with your friends and family.
Don't be that person who gets a relationship and then disappears from the face of the planet. We all know that person. Yes, I know you want to spend time with your new babe, but it's also healthy to continue carving out time for your friends and family members.
 
6. Have a "define the relationship" every few dates to see how things are going. 
Nobody likes dating in the dark. I don't mean literally, but emotionally. Not knowing where your relationship stands can be extremely stressful, so I suggest that you and your new girl/guy take time every few weeks to discuss where each other is at with things.
This will give you both clarity, keep the relationship healthy, and keep the relationship from ever going further than it needs to.
 
7. Be open and honest from the very beginning.
Relationships thrive on transparency. Letting people know about you from the very beginning is quite possibly the best thing you can do for your relationship. Everyone's made mistakes, and I'd encourage you to share about the big pieces of your life that have made you who you are today. Don't keep things hidden in fear of rejection. Be open.
 
8. Don't play with someone's emotions.
If it's not working, then end it. Some relationships are kind of like the TV show American Idol—they go on way longer than they actually should. Seriously though, don't keep a relationship going just for the heck of it. The best thing you can do is be transparent about how you're feeling. If things aren't working out, then end it with care. Ending the relationship as soon as you realize it's not working out will show you care about the person more than dragging it along. Trust me.
 
9. Don't have important conversations via text or email.
We've all been there. Auto-correct and text interpretation can be a relationship's worst nightmare. Save the important conversations for an actual conversation, not a banter of back and forth emojis and broken English. Plus, waiting to talk in person will give you time to really think about what you want to say instead of texting out of pure emotion.
 
10. Don't settle.
Simple. Don't settle for a mediocre relationship. You deserve to be with someone who supports you, encourages you, cares for you and loves you for who you are. Don't settle for mediocre when you could have extraordinary.
 
Jarrid Wilson is a husband to Juli, dad to Finch, pastor, author, blogger and founder of Cause Roast. He's helping people live a better story. For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com. For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com.
For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com
 
Sexual Purity Begins With a Commitment

Rick Warren: Sexual Purity Begins With a Commitment

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Sexual purity is far more complex than simply abstaining from having sex and may be rooted in your mind, your heart and your soul. (ECWA Archive)

"How shall a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word" (Psalm 119:9, MEV).

Is it possible in the 21st century to live a sexually pure life—to refrain from sex before marriage and stay sexually faithful during marriage?

Yes! But it has to start with a commitment.

The Bible says, "How can [anyone] stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word" (Psalm 119:9 NIV). To be sexually pure in the 21st century (or any other century for that matter), you'll need a standard to live by. You can either build your standard by yourself or choose God's standard. You must decide whether God knows more about your life than you do.

God says several things in His Word that aren't popular—particularly when it comes to sex. Why does He say those things? He knows more about sex than you do. He also understands the implications far better than you do. You have to decide: "God, when I don't understand it, when I don't like it, and when it's not popular, I'm going to do what your Word says regardless of what I think or what my friends think."

Until you're willing to make that kind of commitment, you may as well close up your Bible and go back to bed. Without that commitment, you're not ready to be pure in an impure world. You can only be pure by following God's standard.

God thought up sex. It was his idea, but he did put a few parameters around it. His standard has never changed. It's very clear regardless of opinion polls or anything else.

Sex is far more than physical. It's a spiritual act with physical, social, legal, and emotional consequences. If sex were just physical, it'd be like a handshake. It wouldn't matter who you had sex with. But sex is more than physical.

The Bible makes it clear that sex is exclusively reserved for a husband and a wife who are committed to one another in a marriage. Anything outside of that, like sex before marriage and sex outside of marriage, will have profound consequences on your emotions and your spiritual life, and it may even physically harm you.

God's standards are in your best interest. If you want to live by them — and avoid all the negative consequences that come from living outside of them — it starts with a commitment.

Talk It Over
  • Why do you think it's important to make a commitment to God's standard for sexual purity before you get into a situation where you are tempted?
  • What are things in our world that make it even harder to turn away from sexual temptation?
  • What are some of the consequences of sexual sin?

Rick Warren is the founding pastor of Saddleback Church. His book, The Purpose Driven Church, was named one of the 100 Christian books that changed the 20th century. He is also founder of Pastors.com, a global Internet community for pastors.

For the original article, visit rickwarren.org.

 

ECWA USA Communicator 2nd Quarter 2015

ECWA USA Communicator Magazine Writers’ Guidelines

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The ECWA USA Communicator Magazine is written by people like you and me. ECWA USA Communicator is published quarterly by the ECWA USA Communicator Editorial Board. It is financed by advertising revenues. Volunteer staff creates, publishes and distributes it.
 
What is the purpose of ECWA USA Communicator?
The ECWA USA Communicator Magazine features human-interest stories, news, action items, information, and advice on a wide range of matters concerning Christians in their day-to-day living. Each issue features a variety of articles showing our ways of helping people of all ages to be a better Christian by:
  • Growing in their faith
  • Growing in their devotions to Christ
  • Discovering the importance of Christian faith for everyday living.
Who reads ECWA USA Communicator?
  • People of all ages who seeks personal Christian growth in their life
What Are Some Tips From ECWA USA Communicator?
ECWA USA Communicator is designed to make people aware of what is going on in our Church Community and as a medium for people to come closer to God
  • It serves as a medium for people to come closer to God.
  • It captures experiences of real people or group of people who are working to apply their faith to everyday living.
  • It expresses an idea applicable to everyday Christian living.
  • It leads people into further conversation with God and about God after reading.
Pray that the manuscripts you submit will be a great source of ideas and inspiration unto other Christians and help them in their day-to-day life.
 
How Can I Find Out About Upcoming Topics?
  • Check the complete topics and writing deadlines for upcoming issues, as well as previous topics you can read to get your creativity sparkled.
  • For a printed copy of upcoming topics and expanded questionnaires, send email to editor@ecwausa.org, or mail a self-addressed, stamped envelope (SASE) to the address below.
What Style Of Writing Is Appropriate For ECWA USA Communicator?
  • Simple enough for a youth to understand it, however it should be realistic and relevant to life experiences of every Christians, does not need to be overtly religious but should help to open people to the life of faith in a multicultural setting.
  • We employ you to please use language that is non-sexist and inclusive of everyone. We encourage the use of Bible quotes and a wide range of biblical images for God.
How Do I Prepare my ECWA USA Communicator Manuscript?
  • Compose your ECWA USA Communicator manuscripts as an email sent to the editor@ecwausa.org, an online submission, or a typed or handwritten page (doubled-spaced on 8 ½” x 11” paper).
  • If you mail your manuscript to us and want your original submission to be returned, please include a self-addressed, stamped envelope (SASE). We cannot acknowledge or return manuscripts submitted without an SASE, so please keep a copy of what you submit.
  • Please let us know the publication issue for your manuscript.
What other information do I need to include?
  • Date
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Check out this 10 Hallmark Christmas Movies

10 Hallmark Christmas Movies Classics

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10 great Christmas classics you have to watch this season. (image | fanpap, purple Merry Christmas)
 
It's Christmas time! Has Christmas season really started if the music isn't blasting and you're not planning your nightly Christmas movie marathon? – NO! No need to be embarrassed – it's everyone's guilty pleasure. Hallmark Christmas movies suck you in, and since the season of eggnog and mistletoe has officially begun, here's a list of the best Hallmark movies.
 
1. Matchmaker Santa
Matchmaker Santa
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
This is one of the best Christmas romance movies. Feeling caught between her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's best friend Dean, Melanie has a big choice to make – but not without the help of our favorite jolly friends!

2. Let It Snow
Let It Snow
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Stephanie finds both spirit in the Christmas season and romance; putting her in a hard place with some tough decisions. (Also – who doesn't love a good DJ Tanner throwback?)

3. Northpole
Northpole
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The North Pole is worried that maybe people are too stressed out to enjoy the spirit of Christmas. Finding the magic in Christmas might be the solution.

4. The Nine Lives of Christmas
The Nine Lives of Christmas
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Will Cat Ambrose change Zachary's outlook on Christmas time and finding true love?

5. Christmas Ornament
Christmas Ornament
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Grieving the loss of her late husband, Kathy decides to stop her Christmas traditions, only to find out Christmas spirit alone will bring in a special someone that changes her outlook.

6. Debbie Macomber's : Mr.Miracle
Debbie Macomber's : Mr.Miracle
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Angel Harry comes to Earth to help a woman named Addie. He's unwilling to listen to advice, and with good intentions he meddles with lives. Will he be able to help Addie open up?

7. Christmas Under Wraps
Christmas Under Wraps
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
When Lauren doesn't get the position she wanted, she ends up moving to Alaska. Unexpectedly, she falls in love only to learn that the town is hiding a pretty big secret.

8. Christmas with Holly
Christmas with Holly
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The owner of a toy store falls in love with a man caring for his niece, who refuses to talk after the death of her mother. This Christmas they will find the true meaning of family will.

9. November Christmas
November Christmas
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Eight-year-old Emily is struggling with Cancer and will not be able to do Christmas this year, so the wonderful community has an idea to make this Christmas extra special.

10. One Christmas Eve
One Christmas Eve
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Everything on Christmas CAN and WILL go wrong for one family – will they be able to combat it with Christmas Cheer?
 
If you're anything like me, you'll be done binge-watching these in a week! So in that case, tune into Hallmark for tons of new Christmas classics.
 
Movies review by Kylie Stewart. You may check out the original review at The Odyssey Online.  You can tweet Kylie online. Sea foam green, frequent coffee runs, and a whole lot of Jesus in my life.
 
Hallmark Christmas Movies: ‘Guilty Pleasure’ No More

Hallmark Christmas Movies: ‘Guilty Pleasure’ No More

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The good-hearted holiday films prove more popular—and more lovable— than we assume. D. L. Mayfield, guest writer(Marcel Williams / Copyright 2015 Crown Media United States, LLC )

It starts with a girl. She’s white, with immaculately curled hair. She is shy/clumsy/uptight, but deep down, she wants to open a bakery/be an artist/follow her dreams.

Then there’s the boy. He’s also white, with perfect teeth and hair like a businessman from the ‘80s. He works too much/doesn’t care about the holidays/needs help raising his kids because his wife recently died.

Maybe the roles are reversed; it doesn’t really matter. The lighthearted conflict between them goes on for 45 minutes to an hour, until they kiss at the end. Cue the music, fade to the credits, and then it starts all over again.

This is the Hallmark Channel’s Countdown to Christmas spectacular, a nonstop lineup of variations on the romantic holiday movie formula. In 2015 alone, Hallmark has released 17 new Christmas-specific movies, adding to their expansive back catalog of made-for-TV films. This year was my first time sitting down to watch their feel-good movie marathon, but the plotlines were familiar to me as an evangelical girl who grew up longing for a safe, happy, magical world where it felt like Christmas every day.

While mainstream culture scorns the romance as lowbrow and naively idealistic, it remains a hugely profitable enterprise thanks to its loyal readers and viewers. Last year, from Halloween to Christmas, Hallmark was the No. 1 channel for women age 25-54, and a single one of their holiday films, Christmas Under Wraps, attracted 5.8 million viewers. (That’s double the viewership of most Real Housewives shows.)

Once-niche “nerd” entertainment gained popular esteem as it proved itself lucrative (think Marvel movies, Star Trek reboots, and the like), but Hallmark Channel-style romance continues to elicit a degree of derision. No one is more acutely aware of the reputation of these sentimental and seasonal romances than the women who adore them. When I asked a few fans why they tuned in, the answers came in sheepish sentiments: I know they are predictable but… they are calming background noise… I just like happy endings… Christmas is a hard time of year, and they make me feel good… I’m probably too idealistic, but they are just so full of warmth….

These caveats offer some protection from judgment and let others know that they are aware of the criticisms of the genre. But perhaps loving the Hallmark Channel at Christmastime isn’t something to apologize for. More broadly, it may be time a shift in our language when we talk about loving something that we know isn’t perfect.

My friend (and Christ and Pop Culture founder) Richard Clark once told me he doesn’t believe in guilty pleasures. Watch what you want to watch, he said. If you truly feel guilty about watching something, maybe you should turn it off. As I read what fans told me about these pleasant movies, chock-full of bland actors and hopeful messages, I realized there is nothing to feel guilty about. They contain nothing morally wrong or hurtful or violent or exploitative. And yet, people (mostly women), still do.

Perhaps our desire for elite taste beyond the Hallmark Channel fare comes out of a sense of pop culture classism. While exploring the enormous popularity of Celine Dion, music writer Carl Wilson presented a theory from sociologist Pierre Bourdieu wherein taste becomes a way “to set ourselves apart from those whose social ranking is beneath us, and to take aim at the social status we feel we deserve.” We see this play out culturally in our sneers directed at Celine, romantic movies, or even the incredibly popular Adele. Anything deemed so accessible by women—women from a wide variety of classes, in particular—automatically becomes an issue of bad taste for those who consider themselves more refined.

This gendered and class-based judgment should distress us as Christians, as people called to break down cultural distinctions and barriers, not create or uphold them (especially when we happen to be on the “winning” or “artistically savvy” side). No one, as far as I can tell, regards the romance genre as a bastion of artistic innovation or importance. But as another music critic, Joel Heng Hartse writes, “What is taste, after all, other than love?” So many people love these movies and find them as hopeful as they are improbable. Perhaps the enormous popularity of romantic holiday movies serves as a reminder of our desire see happy endings played out before us, at least every now and again.

To be honest, the few movies I watched as research for this essay felt only mildly pleasant. I chuckled a little bit. Immersed in a world of few problems and many beautiful people, I felt happy enough when they got together in the end. I will probably watch one or two a year (any more than that and it does start to feel a bit like a money-making cash enterprise, the movies subsisting to sell advertising spots). As the writer and Countdown to Christmas fan Addie Zierman told me:

There's also a little tiny part of me that finds it sort of nice—this idea that somehow during Christmastime people start to see things better. Truer. They let go of old hurts. They forgive their parents. The go home after being away too long. They make peace with their past. Things are made right in the end.

Those desires—to see and experience forgiveness, homecoming, peace, redemption—all stem from deep spiritual needs. And wouldn’t it be better if we didn’t judge people for seeking out those kinds of stories, if instead we strove to find the commonalities of desire that transcend gender, race, and class? Now that would be a Christmas miracle, indeed.

D. L. Mayfield’s writing has appeared in various publications such as CT, McSweeney's, and Image Journal, among others. Her favorite romantic comedy is “The Decoy Bride” starring the magnificent David Tennant. Her book of essays titled Assimilate Or Go Home: Notes From a Failed Missionary on Rediscovering Faith will be out from HarperOne in August 2016. Find her at dlmayfield.com or on Twitter.