Category Archives: Woman

Girl’s perspective: How to talk to women properly

Girl’s perspective: How to talk to women properly

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Here is an insight for men on how to carry on conversation during a date with that special someone (Canamgirl Music photo)

Dear Men of all ages, I am sure that you all have the same question that you ask yourselves on a regular basis, “How can I pick up the ladies?” It is constantly on your mind, not only because you actually want a relationship or even just a date. It is an unwritten code among men. You hold a high place in your own manly society if you are that guy who gets all the girls. Have you ever thought that perhaps this is an issue? How do you think women respond to this knowledge? Do you think it works in your favor? Well gentlemen, I am here to answer all these questions and give you some insight. Not only for your sake, but for the sake of women who are losing faith in men.

Tip #1:Don’t try so hard.
Honestly if you make a couple attempts to get that girl onto the dance floor….to no avail…. it is most likely a wise decision to take a few steps back. Your chances of even a decent conversation will be a lost cause if you continue to push. This tactic becomes extremely annoying, not only that, eventually creepy. Instead, try asking once for that dance, (or whatever it may be) if you are “Shot Down” just wait for another opportunity to approach and strike up a conversation. You are basically still trying quite hard, although to the female species it will be seen as persistent; not pushy. You may actually instill in them a feeling of curiosity to know more.
 
Tip #2Play hard to get
Usually women are the ones who play hard to get. I can honestly tell you it is because it gives a feeling of being “hot stuff” “worth the chase.” Why not turn the tables?? Allow them to realize what a great catch you are! Pull away ever so slightly, give the woman a time to mull things over and realize how great you are Eventually she will turn up on your caller ID for a change. Trust me, we don’t give up that easily.
 
Tip #3DON’T be cocky!
There is nothing less attractive than a man who portrays himself as “Gods Gift to Women.” Be modest in conversation, try directing questions towards her, show an interest in her likes, dislikes, career etc. Be an honest gentleman. Tip #4Be truthful in your intentions. Men, please don’t get our hopes up for something more if that is never your intention. If you are just interested in a few casual dates now and again don’t be afraid to tell us. It is better to know that there is no current interest in a committed relationship right off the get go.
 
We will respect you for it.
Nothing worse than having the wrong idea and then getting hurt in the end. So, to sum things up……You all have moms, sisters, and female friends, pay more attention to the things that they talk about. I’m sure they can be heard complaining about that last date, or how they wish ( the man in question) would speak to them differently. Don’t be afraid to ask for advice from those special women in your life, trust me, it will make you no less of a “man.” In fact, to a woman, you will see more of a man than ever!

is a blogger and the publisher of Susie Magazine: Find your soul mate. You may read more here.

 

A Decree for the New Year

A Decree for the New Year

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As a single mom, "I've come to realize that it's not a sign of weakness for me to be lonely" (photo ECWA Archive)

Today is the 31st. The last day of the year, although it marks more than that for me. Today also closes out seven years of loneliness for me. On Jan. 1, I will begin my 8th year, and that's a long time. A very long time when you were made to love. When you were made for companionship.

A very long time when you're running yourself into the ground and losing your entire identity while you push yourself past every limit in effort to be both mom and dad, raising kids to feel as little as possible of the pains that come along with a single parent household. I'm tired. And I never get used to an empty bed. Never.

This year, year seven, has been monumental for me. To make a long story short(er), for the first time in this journey, I've come to realize that it's not a sign of weakness for me to be lonely. It's not a part of me that I have to allow to scar over, making me tough. I don't have to pretend … to the world or even myself, that I'm happy living life on a solo run. I've come to the end of a season in my life, and thankfully, the end of one season, means the beginning of another one.

As I'm looking with new eyes, I'm seeing that we are surrounded with people who are walking alone. I dare venture to say that 98% of said people don't prefer to be alone. I will only speak of myself here, but if the shoe fits, I'd encourage you to wear it as well. I've been inundated through the years with "let God be your husband" mentality. I've become ashamed for my own desires and somehow felt that to push for wholeness in this area was a direct reflection on my relationship with God not being where it should be.

Now I know that's not correct. Is God to be the center? Absolutely, but that's the case if you're married OR single. Spoiler alert: Our Father did not create us to walk alone. It was never His plan, He never intended it, even His disciples were sent out two by two. You're no holier by acting like you can win life all by yourself. He looked down at Adam and quickly admitted that it wasn't good for man to be alone. If God Himself admitted that, they why do we feel weak and powerless to do the same thing? It's time to get past that and I don't mean with Facebook rants about how sad we are. I mean in our prayers.

With this new revelation, I have personally decreed 2016 to be a year of new beginnings in our relationships, and not just for myself. I've decided to carry this for everyone in similar life situations who walk alone. It's time. I'm declaring this to be a year of prayer like never before. I'm going to move things in the heavens this year and I'm doing it for far more than myself. I'm doing it for you.

As I've come to this position, it's safe to say that I went through cycles of wanting to spit venom. I've hoped before and landed in a face plant every time. Many years ago I decided that it was better just to not try than to constantly be in heartbreak, so I simply isolated myself to keep the cycle from repeating. I convinced myself that I didn't need a mate. I was just fine. I was strong and I was bull headed. I could do just as much alone as I could together. Guess what? I was wrong.

As I keep feeling God pushing me in this direction, of course the thoughts come of all the times I've hoped in vain. How many times my heart got a fresh dose of sickness from hopes deferred. I keep pushing away the thoughts that try to convince me to NOT try again. Too many times I've thought the light was showing from the end of the tunnel, only for it to be a train that plowed over me.

Yet still … I hear the whispers … hope again. Just like Peter, he'd worked all night, was exhausted, every effort yielding nothing. Not even the smallest reward for his perseverance. Maybe there were even fishermen all around him, pulling in a good haul, but not him. He gets nothing. The sun comes up and he's done. He prepares to go home empty handed, again.

He pulls his boat up to shore and starts washing his nets when a man named Jesus asked Him to take Him out into the water so he could speak to the crowds better. Peter is tired, but he does. We don't know how long Jesus talked. Jesus MAY have been very long winded, we don't know … we just know Peter was tired, and empty handed. Peter had given up.

Just when it looked like Jesus was done and Peter could go back to shore, Jesus tells him to go out into the deep and let down his net. It's at this point that Amy (err, I mean Peter) says, "but Lord! I've done it all night. I'm tired. I've dropped these heavy nets and worked so hard to pull in what I needed to live and got NOTHING, even when everyone around me was successful. I've done this before, same exact spot … but .. sigh, just because you said so … I'm going to do it again." Simply at your word.

And we know the rest of the story. Peter pulled in more than he could even manage from likely the same spot where he'd come up hopeless just hours before. He put the needs of Jesus before his own by taking Jesus out on the boat when he was tired, discouraged and hopeless. Because of that, Jesus turned things and gave him the desire of his heart.

So many of us have invested years into serving God with broken hearts. We've "carried" the presence of God to a broken world, even when our own heart was empty. No more. This is the year of new beginnings and I'm encouraging you to go ahead and take a look around. Look around at all the times you've stepped through the same scenario and ended up with a dirty nose. Then, because He's saying so … try again. Same thing, same place. Try again.

(I just read a book that flipped my emotional tables on every level. As you decide if you will take the chances and drop your nets yet again, I'd strongly persuade you to read what I just finished. Keep Your Love On, by Danny Silk. And just buy the thing … you'll want to highlight every page)

You. Have permission to hope.

Amy Howard Davis has been a single mom for the last seven years and lives in Kansas City with her two sons, ages 8 and 9. Follow Amy on Facebook.

 

Healthy Dating Practices for the New Year

Healthy Dating Practices for the New Year

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This is what it means to date with intentionality and maturity (photo © Glow of Love by Angela D. Coleman)
 
There are plenty of unhealthy ways to date, so I've compiled 10 healthy dating practices that I believe cut to the core of what it means to date with intentionality and maturity.
 
1. Date with intention.
This is going to be for the best of both parties involved. Dating isn't a game, and the last thing you want to do is get in a relationship with someone when your intentions are anything but pure. If you're just looking for fun, I'd recommend you be open and honest about your intentions with anyone you meet or connect with. It's only fair to them and their emotions.
 
2. Make sure your first date is in a public place.
You just never know who you're going to meet. I'd recommend your first date be in a public place in front of lots of people and I'd even recommend you let your friends know where you will be in case something were to happen. You never know who the person you've chatted with on the phone might act in person, and the last thing you want to happen is end up in a private place with someone whose motives are anything but respectful.
 
3. Try to learn as much as you can before meeting them.
Yes, the beauty of social media. If they have public profiles, then make sure to do your due diligence and research as much as you can about the person. It only makes sense to do a little Facebook stalking to see whom you're meeting with. Come on, we've all done it. While someone's online profiles might not always match up with how they act in person, it's always a good idea to see how someone presents themselves online and it may give you the opportunity to end a date before it even starts. Better to be safe than sorry.
 
4. Value the input of your friends and family.
Your friends and family play a valuable role in your dating life, and it's always good to get their opinions when it comes to the person you are dating. Mind you, they might always give the best advice but it's always good to get wisdom from the people who are looking out for your best interest.
 
5. Continue to stay social with your friends and family.
Don't be that person who gets a relationship and then disappears from the face of the planet. We all know that person. Yes, I know you want to spend time with your new babe, but it's also healthy to continue carving out time for your friends and family members.
 
6. Have a "define the relationship" every few dates to see how things are going. 
Nobody likes dating in the dark. I don't mean literally, but emotionally. Not knowing where your relationship stands can be extremely stressful, so I suggest that you and your new girl/guy take time every few weeks to discuss where each other is at with things.
This will give you both clarity, keep the relationship healthy, and keep the relationship from ever going further than it needs to.
 
7. Be open and honest from the very beginning.
Relationships thrive on transparency. Letting people know about you from the very beginning is quite possibly the best thing you can do for your relationship. Everyone's made mistakes, and I'd encourage you to share about the big pieces of your life that have made you who you are today. Don't keep things hidden in fear of rejection. Be open.
 
8. Don't play with someone's emotions.
If it's not working, then end it. Some relationships are kind of like the TV show American Idol—they go on way longer than they actually should. Seriously though, don't keep a relationship going just for the heck of it. The best thing you can do is be transparent about how you're feeling. If things aren't working out, then end it with care. Ending the relationship as soon as you realize it's not working out will show you care about the person more than dragging it along. Trust me.
 
9. Don't have important conversations via text or email.
We've all been there. Auto-correct and text interpretation can be a relationship's worst nightmare. Save the important conversations for an actual conversation, not a banter of back and forth emojis and broken English. Plus, waiting to talk in person will give you time to really think about what you want to say instead of texting out of pure emotion.
 
10. Don't settle.
Simple. Don't settle for a mediocre relationship. You deserve to be with someone who supports you, encourages you, cares for you and loves you for who you are. Don't settle for mediocre when you could have extraordinary.
 
Jarrid Wilson is a husband to Juli, dad to Finch, pastor, author, blogger and founder of Cause Roast. He's helping people live a better story. For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com. For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com.
For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com
 
Coping with Healing

Coping with Healing

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Why is hard for Christians to receive healing? (Christina Hibbert)?

As a healing evangelist, I am asked many questions concerning healing. One common question asked is: "Why do you think it is hard for Christians to receive healing? It seems most are already resigned to go the medical route because God uses doctors." This is a reasonable question, and there is an answer for it.

It has been difficult for Christians, especially in the Western World, to receive healing because they have not been taught about faith for healing on a consistent basis.

People are willing to wait seven to 10 days for an antibiotic to heal their bodies, because they have been taught for many years that if they take one tablet of this medicine three times a day, they will be healed. They are even willing to overlook physical symptoms of the illness, because they have been taught that the symptoms and the sickness will be healed as long as they take the medicine faithfully. So, their faith has been activated, they follow their doctor's instructions, and they are healed by the medicine.

But God's people are not willing to wait this amount of time for divine healing to manifest, because they have not been consistently taught that if they will be faithful to take God's medicine, His Word concerning healing, three times a day, morning, noon and night, that their bodies will be healed. And because of the lack of faith teaching for healing, if they experience any type of symptom after prayer, they doubt the power in God's medicine and are not healed.

When God's people hear the message of faith for healing on a consistent basis and put faith for healing into action, then they are healed. And not only are they healed, but they walk in divine health and avoid sickness all together.

Our faith to believe God for healing will automatically activate when we are taught the Word for healing on a consistent basis.

This is why it has been difficult for Christians to receive healing in the past, but we can change this and start to teach the healing message to those around us.

Becky Dvorak is a prophetic healing evangelist and the Destiny Image author of DARE to Believe and Greater Than Magic. Visit her at authorbeckydvorak.com.

 

5 Reasons You Shouldn't Cohabitate Before Marriage

5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Cohabitate Before Marriage

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Studies shows after living together before marriage, the odds of staying together decreases significantly (image © Andy Ward)

Are you single or dating someone you think may be the one? Or do you have kids who are dating and may be thinking wedding bells at some point?

If so, you may want to consider the importance of marrying before moving in together or of teaching your kids about the pitfalls of shacking up.

More and more couples are choosing to move in together before marriage. One reason is to save on rent. Yes, saving on rent. Saving on rent is not, and should not be, a reason to live with someone who may or may not become your spouse. In fact, it is a really bad reason. Below are five reasons shacking up is a bad idea:

1. No blessings from God. The Bible considers shacking up the opposite of a legitimate marriage. A legitimate marriage consists of a union between a man and woman who have made a covenant and commitment. Shacking up involves neither. Marriage was a union created by God and is a union God blesses.

2. Your relationship will probably end. An article on examiner.com states that 80 percent of shacking-up relationships end before marriage or in divorce after marriage. So, it is 80/20 against you getting married or staying married to that person. One reason is because there is not a commitment when you move in before marriage. A relationship without commitment will not last, and marriage is the biggest commitment you can make in life.

3. Your children will be negatively affected. To the parents who have children, your kids are three times as likely to be expelled from school or get pregnant, five times more likely to live in poverty, and 22 times more likely to be incarcerated—all because you choose to live with someone you're not married to.

4. It makes you lazy. As a married man, I know that once dating ends, the relationship changes. Living together removes the "being your best" part of your relationship. Kind of like most job interviews—you wore the suit to the interview, but once hired, you show up in khakis and a polo. And if you're living with a woman and getting some of the "benefits" of marriage—sex, having someone to help around the house, sharing the bills—you can also get lazy about taking the next step in your relationship.

5. Saving on rent. Mentioned above.

 Related Resources: 

How will you educate your adult children about the dangers of shacking up?

All Pro Dad is Family First's innovative and unique program for every father. Their aim is to interlock the hearts of the fathers with their children and, as a byproduct, the hearts of the children with their dads. At allprodad.com, dads in any stage of fatherhood can find helpful resources to aid in their parenting. Resources include daily emails, blogs, Top 10 lists, articles, printable tools, videos and eBooks. From allprodad.com, fathers can join the highly engaged All Pro Dad social media communities on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram.

 

Claiming the Promise of Jesus

Claiming the Promises of Jesus

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The promises of Jesus that most believers have not yet claimed (Donald Sullivan)

"My burden is light" (Matt. 11:30). This is one of Jesus' more paradoxical statements. He makes it in the form of a promise. He doesn't promise that we wouldn't have any burdens but that His burden is light. How can that be? Isn't what defines something as a burden is that it is heavy?

It begs the question: What makes a burden heavy? In the physical realm—God's illustration of spiritual truth—what makes something heavy is gravity. The downward gravitational pull of the earth makes something heavy.

Imagine with me now that I am about to pick up a huge, heavy boulder. Can you see the scene? I struggle to pick it up and put it on my back. It's too heavy for me. It crushes me to the ground. I am paralyzed under its weight. Got it?

Reset the scene. I'm about to pick up exactly the same boulder. Nothing has changed about the burden. Except that this time when I pick it up, I'm on Mars. Since Mars has no gravity, the very same burden that paralyzed me on Earth is light as a feather on Mars.

The difference is not in the burden, but in the atmosphere in which we carry the burden. When we try to carry it in our flesh, it crushes us. When we carry it in the Spirit, it is light.

We may have to transfer out of flesh to the Spirit hundreds of times a day. But one day we'll get into the spiritual realm with that burden and stay there. The burden may not change immediately, but our reaction to it will. We can hold it up before the Lord instead of having it weigh us down and paralyze us.

Don't slip into guilt or condemnation here. The Lord is on your side. He is not scolding you. He is inviting you. Let Him show you how to transfer the burden. A Scripture He gives you to use? A phrase? A mental picture? Just ask Him. When I realize I'm burden-bearing in the flesh, I mentally say, "Only You." And that phrase calls me back.

Jennifer Kennedy Dean is an author, speaker, conference leader and executive director of the Praying Life Foundation. You may visit her online at prayinglife.org.

 

Preventable Disease: Obesity

Preventable Disease: Obesity

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Obesity – Upgrade Your Health With Sharmita Rideau (Gina Cook)

The world tells us the need to lose weight, but only God's Word can give us the power to lose weight!  

With all the information floating throughout social media, TV and the Internet about the dangers of being overweight, why is it so hard to lose weight?  No one wants to slowly kill themselves eating the wrong food and not taking care of their body.

How did we gain all the weight? This is not something that happens overnight! What is the underlying cause? Why have we allowed food to become our emotional crutch?

Obesity is a lifestyle disease; it is a preventable disease linked to our daily living patterns. Obesity is fast overtaking smoking as the No. 1 preventable disease causing death! This should get our attention!

A study in 2006 found that church members are likely to be overweight or obese more than the general public and by far the heaviest of all religious groups. A 2001 Pulpit and Pew study of 2,500 clergy found that 76 percent were overweight or obese compared to 61 percent of the general population at the time of the study. Unfortunately, I was one of those statistics!

How had I fallen into this trap? Weight had been a struggle for me since childhood. I brought into my adult life bad eating habits. I'm not blaming anyone else, but I never took the time to study nutrition and did very little exercise. I was busy in the ministry traveling to the nations and just didn't have the time.

One day my world changed by five words that I read: "The devil wants you fat!" These words pierced my heart! I hate the devil. I knew John 10:10: "The thief does not come, except to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." At that time about the only thing I had an abundance of was fat cells!

At the moment I saw the words, "the devil wants you fat," I had an immediate burning desire in my heart to change! It was a moment that brought repentance and an awareness that I was responsible and accountable for the care of my body.

When we have an issue in our life which we cannot control, it is a spiritual problem. As I said, the world can tell us all sorts of reasons that we need to change, but only God's Word can give us the power to change. I had tried all the gimmicks of the world for a quick fix, but not only did I lose finances, I lost hope, dignity and peace.

What brings change? We have to be willing to admit that we are wrong and that we need help. The words that I read brought repentance and an awareness that I had a problem and I needed to change.  

What is the key to weight loss? Repentance! Repentance is sincere regret or remorse according to the dictionary.  Sincere regret. If you truly regret something, your behavior is going to change. You will want to change and make things better.

True repentance is believing in your heart and confessing with your mouth (Rom. 10:9).

"Therefore repent and be converted, that your sins may be wiped away, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord" (Acts 3:19).

When I repented and submitted my weight issues to the Lord, He gave me a battle plan that worked from the inside out, taking 90 pounds from my body. It is a daily walk. My testimony is in my book, Why Diets Don't Work – Food Is Not the Problem. This book, and a workbook that goes with it, can be found on my website, whydiets.com. It is not another diet plan; it is a battle plan!

Joyce Tilney is an author and conference speaker. Her ministry, Women of God, teaching women of today from women of yesterday, has taken her around the world. She finds women are the same all over the world; they need to be loved and to love, understanding their uniqueness as a woman of God. Visit her websites: wogministries and whydiets.com

 

Making your Marriage Last

Making your Marriage Last

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This is one of the main reasons that couples divorce. (Alan Lambert – Getty Images)

I have been married 20 years but I still find that successful communication is the No. 1 challenge in my relationship. And I know I am not alone. Communication issues are the top reason most marriages fail. Thankfully, I have learned one thing over the years that has helped me overcome this: respect.

When I approach my husband Chad respectfully, my chances of him listening and responding are far greater than if I approach him harshly or aggressively.

For most of our marriage, my husband Chad has had no desire to take out the trash. It could be packed tight, overflowing, and causing a seriously foul smell throughout our home, and he still wouldn't think about taking it out. That drives me crazy! I know he isn't lazy; in fact, he is one of the hardest workers I know. What makes me crazy is that I feel he takes me for granted because he knows that I have all the home chores covered.

Here are two ways that I could deal with this:

A. I could communicate what I desire to have done by asking him respectfully "Honey, can you please take out the trash?"

OR

B. I could express my frustration to him with my finger pointed by disrespectfully saying, "You never do anything, the trash smells like a dead pig! When do you plan on taking that out?"

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger" (Prov. 15:1).

"He who guards his mouth preserves his life" (Prov. 13:3).

As a woman of God, I know that I am called to respect my husband. Unique to each spouse is a set of things they need. One of Chad's top three needs is "respect." If I want him to meet my needs, I must first try to meet his needs, even if he is not doing something the way I think he should.

It is pretty obvious that Option A would be the best way to handle this situation, but showing Chad respect is not always easy for me. I really struggle with showing him respect when I am frustrated. Truthfully there are many times that I want to go "cuckoo" on him and use Option B (and sadly, I have). However, it never works out well! By using Option B, maybe the trash will get taken out, but the whole day would be ruined because of our anger and fighting. Division would come between us, and what could have been a good day would become filled with chaos.

Unfortunately, I have caused one too many "bad days" by not choosing to honor the Lord by respecting my husband. Taking the approach of choosing to honor the Lord is exactly how I started to make the appropriate changes in my attitude. Ephesians 5 teaches us to respect our husbands. That verse doesn't say to respect him only when he deserves it. Instead, God's Word teaches us to respect our husbands all of the time. It was with this new revelation in mind that I was able to begin making the choice to respect Chad in all areas of our marriage, but especially with my words.

I was convicted by these verses in the Bible:

"It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman" (Prov. 21:19).

"It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop than with a brawling woman in a wide house" (Prov. 21:9).

I never want to be that kind of wife again. How shameful it would be if I were still that type of wife?

"But let it be the hidden nature of the heart, that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God" (1 Peter 3:4).

I made the decision that this is the wife I wanted to be!

This is an example of true beauty. This is the depiction of the virtuous woman that God created me to be. This is the woman who will lay pride aside to willfully meet her husband's needs. Ultimately, this healthy attitude will lead to joy in a marriage that revolves around peace and unity.

After reading the above statement, I'm sure you're asking, "That all sounds wonderful, but if we are so focused on our spouse's needs, then what about our own needs?" Notice what I said above: "the woman who will lay pride aside to willfully meet her husband's needs finds joy in a marriage of peace and unity."

There is no question that I still desire to have my needs met, but constantly challenging my husband to meet those needs is selfish on my part, and my efforts always fail. Through true servanthood to one another, when I strive to meet his needs and he strives to meet mine, we find ourselves in the marriage we both desire. I have heard it said that you have to meet halfway … I no longer believe this to be true. I'm willing to go all the way!

Even if Chad only goes 30 percent, then we will be fine, because there will be other days when he will give 100 percent and I will fall short. You don't have to be a statistician, just understand that when you are both "all in" and can take your eyes off your own needs and focus on your spouse's needs, you will be most fulfilled.

From Marriage Advance by Chad and Kathy Robichaux, a book helping couples strengthen their marriages in times great adversity and advancing toward the ultimate success God had in mind when you said, "I do."

Kathy Robichaux is the director of women's programs for the Mighty Oaks Foundation. She has a strong connection with women and wives struggling with the pain and heartache in the wake of PTSD. With vast amount of personal experiences, she speaks publicly as a wife and mother who fought the war with the symptoms in her husband and came out the other side with a restored marriage and an even stronger faith. Kathy and Chad have been married for 20 years and have three teenage children: Hunter, Haili and Hayden.

 

God Can Restore any Christian to His Side

God Can Restore any Christian to His Side

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Laura-Lynn Tyler Thompson, '700 Club Canada' co-host, shares her story of restoration at the Women's Journey of Faith Restore Conference in Saskatoon, Canada. (Riley Semchuk)

Laura-Lynn Tyler Thompson had been married twice with her second marriage that involved police incidents. Melinda Estabrook was a high-profile Christian TV celebrity who announced her divorce on her network. Lorie Hartshorn is a Christian leader who had three children who became ensnared to drugs, alcohol and the partying lifestyle.

Thompson, a 700 Club Canada co-host with Estabrook and Hartshorn, shared their stories with transparency and vulnerability at the 16th Annual Women's Journey of Faith Conference in Saskatoon, Canada. Over 1,200 women gathered for that conference from across Canada. The interdenominational organization has broken barriers such as race, denomination and religious affiliation for women.

"I grew up in a good Christian home," says Thompson. "My parents were missionaries in Uganda, but when I turned 18, I wanted to go my own way." She married against her parents' wishes and then became involved with another man during that marriage. She divorced her first husband and married for a second time but that relationship became volatile.

"I felt like I had messed up too much for God to want me," says Thompson. "I knew better and yet I made bad choices and I was paying for them." Her mom invited her to church where the pastor asked everyone to write their three sins down and to nail the piece of paper on the cross.

"I didn't want to write them down because they were the big ones, the ones mentioned in the Ten Commandments," she told the audience. "I realized that if I didn't respond that I would have to write down a fourth sin of rebellion." She wrote her sins down in illegible writing because she didn't want anyone to know about the shame of her sin.

When she posted that note on the life-sized cross, she realized how much of a price that Jesus paid for her sins. That night began a journey for Thompson as God miraculously opened doors for her in TV to share His message.

Hartshorn is a discipleship pastor for C4 Church in Ontario. She shared with SpiritLed Woman about the challenge of walking through the season of when her three children raised in church rejected their faith.

Hartshorn realized when her oldest son was in the hospital after getting drunk, that this was a spiritual war for her children's destiny. "He got up from the hospital bed and began screaming at the wall 'stop laughing at me.' We felt a dark presence in the room and we knew that the enemy was after our son." Hartshorn and her husband began to pray regularly for her children and God opened up the reality of demonic activity in the lives of her children. She wrote a Bible Study and DVD called Finding Freedom with the wake-up call for spiritual warfare.

Today, Hartshorn's three children are headed into the ministry. "You would have never saw that five years ago," she said. "It took years, and my husband and I connected with other parents and began to pray regularly for our children." Prayer carried Estabrook when she announced her situation on a Christian TV show for women, Full Circle.

"After I made that announcement and we went off the air, my camera man started clapping," Estabrook says. "Then everyone in the room started clapping and I realized that the fallout and judgment that I expected from Christians wasn't there."

Estabrook and Hartshorn say that the first thing that Christians want to do is isolate themselves when they have troubled kids or they're going through a divorce because they are ashamed of their perceived failures.

"I told a few close friends what was happening to me," says Estabrook. "I had people who were close to me hold me accountable. You can be tempted to quit going to church, but this is when you need the community of faith the most." The network had created a 1-800 line in anticipation of the onslaught if critical calls from Christians but those calls never came.

Instead, Estabrook says she received support, encouragement and help for restoration. Hartshorn also received support and prayer from fellow Christians at her church. Thompson discovered her place in the church as God opened up doors of service in TV ministry.

The three women shared their testimonies of being restored at the conference. The Bethel Band from Redding, California, led worship. "I loved Laura-Lynn's journey of faith empowerment," says Juliet Amuijo, an attorney from Uganda. "The two messages that I listened to empowered me to carry His glory."

Lorna Egungu, Juliet's 71-year-old mother, said that she liked the practical message of "how we want to hide so many things to impress the public. But there's nothing you can hide from God." Egungu added that she was set free from trying to hide so many things.

Sarah Peters, a 31-year-old Mennonite from Alberta, Canada, says, "I feel connected with God. I felt His presence, and it felt good to be connected with like-minded people. Her 18-year-old friend Nancy Dyck says this was the first time that she was at the conference and she had a fresh hunger for God's presence.

"I feel restored to God," says Dyck. "I realized that I don't spend time with God on a daily basis and that I needed to make him a priority." Bringing women together to make God a priority is one of the goals for Women's Journey of Faith.

"In 1999 I came here (TCU Place: Saskatoon Arts & Convention Center) to go to a 'body, spirit and soul' conference," says Jodi Kozan. "One of the panelist speakers was a Christian and I asked her about her faith during the Q&A. She couldn't answer me, and I later learned that she was asked to not speak specifically about her faith."

Kozan got the vision for hosting an interdenominational gathering to promote unity, spiritual growth and fellowship for women. The first conference attracted 850 women at Saskatoon Inn, and 300 women had to be turned away. Since then, the organization has expanded with speaker tours, equipping conferences and tours of Israel. "We're in our 16th year, and now our speakers are traveling from neighboring provinces," says Maureen Brown, a former board member.

The organization has become a bridge into the native population with speakers ministering at reservations. "We are a bridge between white people and Native Americans," says Brown. With women of all ages, from every race and denomination across Canada, Women's Journey of Faith is poised to increase the reach of the gospel.

Leilani Haywood, online editor for SpiritLed Woman and frequent contributor to Charisma, is an award-winning writer. Follow her on Twitter or Facebook. Read original article on Charisma,

 

 

Who Wouldn't Want to Live Here?

Who Wouldn’t Want to Live Here?

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Wouldn't you want to live there (Paradise Road – edequity.org)

Peace: a wonderful place to live, isn't it?

The gift of peace, and the choice to remain in that place of peace, provides comfort and valuable resources almost too precious to express.

Who wouldn't want to live in a place of peace? It's almost like saying, "Who wouldn't want to visit Hawaii?"

When the cares and concerns of life loom menacingly on the dark horizon like a growing and fierce storm, peace is heaven's gift to a troubled and fretful soul.

God gently offers, in that moment of unsettled emotions and of fearful anxiety, "Wouldn't you like to go to a place of peace with Me?"

I realized recently, while I was traveling and observing the expressions of various and rushing travelers that not many people choose to live in a place of peace. Most people frantically react to life and then traverse from the Land of Frustration to the Isle of Impatience with a quick side trip to Angry Mount and back again.

Who wants to live in a place of volcanic upheaval and uncontrollable tempest? Peace sounds like a much more … well … "peaceful" destination to me!

So … if peace is uncommonly valuable and even utterly desirable, then why is peace so elusive and difficult to capture? Why does peace seem to flit in and out of our lives with not much actuality and very little tenacity?

I have come to believe that peace, although not tangible, is certainly substantial; and that true peace, although invisible, is a strong determinant in reaching one's destination.

"You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." (Isaiah 26:3).

Peace is a result of trusting a loving Father who knows best and who loves the most. Peace comes rushing in when a believer decides to believe.

Peace is delivered in that infamous, "Aha!" moment of life. When you finally realize that you serve a God who is an expert at working all things together for good and that you are the beneficiary of His incredible competence.

Peace! There it is!! I see it now!

Peace is a gift that is bestowed upon those who know of no other way to live than to take up permanent residence in His joyful and comforting presence.

It is humanly impossible to stir up peace … to beg for peace … to buy peace … or to mimic peace. 

Peace is found along the road marked "Trust" and you will find that it is a sure and delightful destination.

No matter what you are going through today … be certain of this … peace is just one trusting choice away.

Take your eyes off your circumstances … remove your heart from boiling emotions … and begin to sing a melody of the resilient soul,

"Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!

How I've proved Him o'er and o'er.

Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus! 

Oh for grace to trust Him more!"

Now sing it again. And again.

Sing it while the storm is raging and when the wind is roaring.

Sing it internally when voices are yelling and anger is unleashed around you.

Are you there yet? Have you reached the place of peace?

"You are my hiding place; You will preserve me from trouble; You will surround me with shouts  of deliverance!" (Psalm 32:7).

Carol McLeod is an author and popular speaker at women's conferences and retreats, where she teaches the Word of God with great joy and enthusiasm. Carol encourages and empowers women with passionate and practical, biblical messages mixed with her own special brand of hope and humor. She has written five books: No More Ordinary, Holy Estrogen!, The Rooms of a Woman's Heart and Defiant Joy! Her most recent book, Refined: Finding Joy in the Midst of the Fire, was released on Aug. 1. Her teaching DVD The Rooms of a Woman's Heart won the Telly Award, a prestigious industry award for excellence in religious programming.

 

Finding God in the Desert

Finding God in the Desert

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When we are in the middle of a desert trek, God's hand seems absent and we are blinded by the glaring circumstances. (HDWallSource by AWLTER)

Desert times are fruitful times. Though they seem barren, lush fruit is being produced in our lives when we walk through the desert. "For the Lord your God has blessed you in all the works of your hands. He knows your wanderings through this great wilderness. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you. You have lacked nothing" (Deuteronomy 2:7).

As we see in this verse, God shows us who He is by what He does. We see His promises worked out in the lives of His people and know that the same God is working in our lives.

Moses is reminding God's people of the ways God has been faithful and of how His hand has been on them every step of their forty-year journey in the wilderness. Can you relate to a wilderness journey? Life's path takes all of us into desert territory from time to time. Sometimes the terrain is brutal and the sun scorching. We feel parched and desperate for a relief that seems not to come. And just like the Israelites, we can see God's hand most clearly in retrospect.

When we are in the middle of a desert trek, God's hand seems absent, blinded as we are by the glaring circumstances. But when we emerge from that leg of the journey, we can look back and see that God has watched over our every step. The journey was hard and went on longer than we thought we could bear. But here we stand. All the way through the desert, just when we thought we couldn't last another day, God's mercy met us in some observable way: a kind word, an unexpected provision, provision, a "chance" encounter. The assurance of His presence always came.

The desert has things to teach us. We learn things there that we can't learn anywhere else. We see the careful provision of our Father in a different light. His love stands out in stark relief against the background of the desert's barren landscape. In the wilderness, we come to the end of ourselves. We learn in new and deeper ways to cling to him and wait for him. When we come out of the desert, the desert lessons stay with us. We take them with us into the next stretch. We remember the God who led us through the desert, and we know that He is with us still.

The Lord will sanctify your desert times and make them to be fruitful in your life.

RESPOND

Looking back, what do you know of God now that you would not know if you had never walked a desert?

Are you in a desert now? Can you see glimpses of God's provision?

Jennifer Kennedy Dean is an author, speaker, conference leader and executive director of the Praying Life Foundation.

 

When You Don't Win (Reuters)

When You Don’t Win

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Like in life. It's not realistic to expect to get what you want all the time (Reuters)

Ahhhhh, cake walks. The anticipation of maybe, just maybe, hearing your number called and getting to choose the cake of your dreams.

I actually remember one particular cake walk from sometime when I was in elementary school. I won! I walked over to the table and chose the cake I had had my eye on all night: a sheet cake decorated in myriad colors with the word "Mexico" and all kinds of squiggles and designs. That. cake. was. beautiful!

Recently, my children participated in a cake walk at a party. Timmy became discouraged the first few times he didn't hear his number called, so I picked him up and walked around with him. I held him for several rounds, and as time went by, and most of the other kids won cakes, Timmy began quietly fussing (read: whining). I reminded him that it's not possible to win all the time and reassured him that he still had a chance.

And then … victory on number 19!

By this point, Timmy was hanging his head and fussing continuously. "You won, Timmy!" I exclaimed. He continued to whine. "Timmy, you won!" I repeated. More whining.

I began to walk away from the game, toward the prize table, because I was embarrassed. Did he not understand that he had won? What was the problem?

"Timmy, why are you fussing?" I asked quietly. "You won!"

"I wanted to win lots of times," Timmy said, disappointed.

My first thought was: Be grateful you won at all!

My second thought was: Yeah, I understand, buddy. I hate it when I don't win as often as I'd like.

Like in life. I know it's not realistic to expect to get what I want all the time. But I'd like to. And sometimes, when I don't, I get disappointed.

Here are some recent times I can remember not getting what I wanted:

  • My child embarrassed me in public.
  • I tried to learn a particular skill, and it didn't turn out well at all.
  • I didn't receive an invitation I was hoping for.
  • Someone assumed the worst about my character.

These are not the only unpleasant things I've faced in the past few weeks; there have also been some that were traumatic.

But in the same time period, I've also encountered these circumstances:

  • My child spent time drawing a sweet picture for me and telling me how much she loved me.
  • I received a compliment from a student who enjoys my teaching style.
  • I was invited to have lunch with a friend.
  • Several family members went out of their way to verbally affirm their confidence in my character and their love for me.

So, I have a choice. I can complain that I had to face the first set of circumstances, or I can rejoice that I experienced the second.

It's the same choice you have when you're disappointed.

Grieve if you need to; it's OK!

But don't forget the good things.

Job 1:21 says, "Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD" (KJV).

Adapted from Megan Breedlove's blog, Manna for Moms. Megan is the author of Well Done, Good and Faithful Mommy and Manna for Moms: God's Provision for Your Hair-Raising, Miracle-Filled Mothering Adventure (Regal Books.) She is also a stay-at-home mom with 5 children.

5 ways to exercise no matter how busy you are

5 ways to exercise no matter how busy you are

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An Aussie model for the past seven years, in 2013 Hannah started sharing her fitness routine, diet and health tips on Instagram to much success. She launches her workout app this year (hanxfit.com)
 
Keeping fit when you've got a jam-packed schedule IS possible, writes Hannah Saul

We've all gone through times when life starts getting in the way of our fitness journey. But whether you work unpredictable hours or your social schedule is getting the better of you, it's still important to stay on top of your workouts. Not only is exercise good for your health for many reasons, but it can also be quite energising – I personally find that working out helps to boost my productivity. Here are the five tricks that I apply to fit in a workout regardless of my schedule.

1. Work out in the morning
I always do some form of exercise in the morning, even if I can only fit 10 minutes in. Something is better than nothing, and for me it's more about making it a habit! I've been doing this every day for about three years and it's a non-negotiable part of my day. If I have an early shoot or an early flight, I do three to four sets of the following:
  • 15 push-ups
  • 15 squats
  • 15 mountain climbers
  • 15 lunges a side, alternating legs because that will help you work your core
  • 15 bicycle crunches

Related story: Australian model Hannah Saul shares her summer body tips

2. Bring your workout gear with you
Not sure when you will have time to train? Bring a small gym bag with you to work. All you will need is your gym gear (obviously): shoes, shorts, socks, top and a comb, dry shampoo, face wipes and mineral foundation to get ready post-workout. This little pack won't take up too much space, but it is essentially all you need to get 'work ready' again.

3. Get an app
Having a fitness app on your phone is a great way to ensure you get your workout done, because you have a library of workouts at your fingertips that you can literally do anywhere, anytime. My fitness app, HANxFIT, has workouts that can be done no matter where you want to train. If you have a lunch break and a park nearby, do a workout from the body weight or abs section. If you want to do a session in the gym, you can refer to the gym or kettlebell workouts. Each workout has a beginner, intermediate and advanced option and there are different length options so you can pick a workout that suits your timeframe too.

 
4. Get a stretchy band
You forgot to bring your gym gear to work and you missed your morning session. Now you're home, tired and lacking motivation to train. This is when a stretchy band comes into play. I have a band that's about 40cm in diameter and I use it while I'm watching TV. To work your legs and butt, put the band underneath your knees (not on your knees!) and go up into a bridge. Engage your core and make sure you keep your body aligned, as you don't want to hurt yourself. Now alternate between doing little pulses towards the roof and pushing your legs out towards the sides of the room.
 
Remember it's all about small movements and keeping your muscles under tension. Every time you do a pulse, think to yourself 'out an inch, in an inch'. It might sound a bit dirty, but it works!
 
5. Embrace incidental exercise
Try to fit in as much incidental exercise as possible. Walk to work or to the train station and if possible try to organise walking or fitness meetings with your contacts. You could also consider getting a standing desk. Applying more healthy practices into your daily schedule can only be good for you, after all.
Hannah Saul is launching her highly anticipated workout app HAN x FIT in October 2015. Pre- register for the app now: hanxfit.com/signup.
Instagram: @hanxfit
Five Ways Fasting Can Change Your Life

Five Ways Fasting Can Change Your Life

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You have the choice to change your life by a simple decision. It is fully within your ability to make this choice, and absolutely within God’s power to give you the strength for the sacrifice. Fasting and prayer, if faithfully done, will alter your existence, rock your spiritual world and bring your life on this earth into “God’s” perspective. We know because it is doing that for us. You can’t argue with personal experience; it is fact and it is incredibly exciting.

Wendy Simpson Little and I answered a call from God to enter into a relationship of weekly fasting and prayer. We followed a routine of one day a week, from after Monday night dinner to before Tuesday night dinner. We felt led to fast from food, but you may be led to fast other things. How much time do you spend on social media? If given the choice to run to God or grab the remote, which would you choose? Don’t worry, only you and God need to know the answer.

Naiveté would be one way of putting it in regards to our leap into this spiritual discipline. We thought the simple equation of Prayer + Fasting = Quick Fix Answers was what we should expect. Little did we know that our heavenly Father would choose first to carefully address the areas in our life that needed fixing, confession and repentance.? What a gracious God He is to only want the best for us—transformation that likens us to his Son. Thankfully, He continues to refine and replace those sinful and broken places with His faithful forgiveness and invaluable instruction. The outcome? We will continue to fast and pray, to live it out as our lifestyle, until God takes us home. Why? Once you come this close to God, you don’t retreat.

Let’s talk about five of the things that can change our lives when we fast and pray:

1. Fasting and prayer can help us hear from God. “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know” (Jeremiah 33:3, NIV).

For those of you who truly know Jesus, how could you ever resist that appeal? You have been invited to “call” to Him in prayer. His Word says that He will tell us things we don’t know, which is very helpful in point No. 2! If you want deeper intimacy with God then we highly recommend you enter into a sacrificial space in time where you seek Him like never before.

2. Fasting and prayer can reveal our hidden sin. “My eyes are on all their ways; they are not hidden from me, nor is their sin concealed from my eyes” (Jeremiah 16:17, NIV).

God can see our sins like a flashing neon sign. Nothing is hidden from His sight. We have found that frequently the harder sins to acknowledge are the hidden ones, especially when they involve our motives and attitudes.

When we fast and pray, we are taking time away from a meal or an activity to devote our entire being to focus on God. We find we are more sensitive to the voice of God, more attuned to hearing what He has to reveal to us. Gently, God whispers in our mind what we were really thinking at the time of our sin, what our true intent was and we are shocked … momentarily. Then like a light turned on in a pitch black room, we see it. We did mean harm. We were manipulative. Even though our recognition makes us want to hide our face, our loving Savior lifts our chin to look into his forgiving eyes. As we repent, we no longer want to hide, but to praise and worship the very one who confronted our wrong.

3. Fasting and prayer can strengthen intimacy with God. “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17, NIV).

As you remain consistent in prayer and fasting, over time, you will crave more quiet time alone with your heavenly Father. Psalms 42:1 says, “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God”. The more you know of God, the more you want. Fasting and prayer is a great catalyst to create an insatiable hunger for God’s presence and you will enter into a place of deep intimacy with our Lord.

4. Fasting and prayer can teach us to pray with right motives. “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures” (James 4:3, NIV). The more you focus on your prayer time, pressing in with heightened sensitivity through the sacrifice of fasting, your will aligns with God.

No longer are you praying with wrong motives, but are petitioning the Lord with a heart of worship, gratitude and an outward vision that cares for the needs of others. 1 John 5:14–15 tell us that we can have confidence then as we approach God, knowing “that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him (NIV). This is great news!

5. Fasting and prayer can build our faith. “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him” (Hebrews 11:6, NIV). God says He will answer our prayer. As we fasted He has bolstered our faith by answering incredible requests with many a yes. He has also built our faith by helping us trust when He says no. Whatever the answer, we have learned that we can believe God knows best. Our reward is the peace that comes from being fully surrendered to God’s control over our lives.

We have come to know God like never before. His grace amazes us that He would call us into this sacrificial relationship where we gain infinitely more than we give up. God has changed our lives through prayer and fasting—are you ready for Him to change yours?

Suzanne Niles and Wendy Little are authors of the newly released book Fast Friends (Broadstreet Publishing, October 2015).

Is Prayer a Spiritual Obligation or Your Life

Is Prayer a Spiritual Obligation or Your Life?

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A congregation praying during a Christian conference.

by Jennifer Kennedy Dean,  author, speaker, conference leader and executive director of the Praying Life Foundation. You can visit her online at prayinglife.org.

I grew up in a praying family. From earliest childhood, I was encouraged to commit everything to God through prayer. Nothing was either too important or too insignificant to leave in God's hands.

My parents did not teach me about prayer with their words, but with their lives. They had more than "a prayer time"—a section of their days set aside for praying. Instead, prayer permeated and controlled every aspect of their lives.

Prayer, I later came to realize, can be an activity or it can be a life. You can think of it in terms of "my prayer life," as you would say "my home life," or "my work life"—as if prayer were one compartment among many. But I knew that prayer as a task or an activity would not meet the deep yearning I had to know God.

It was not a prayer life I wanted, but a praying life—a life of ongoing and continual interaction with God. Andrew Murray has said, "Answered prayer is the interchange of love between the Father and His child." I want an uninterrupted flow of love between the Father and me. Isn't that what you want? Isn't your heart crying out for that?

You see, there is an undercurrent of prayer always active in a believer's life. The Spirit of Christ is within you crying out, "Abba, Father" (Gal. 4: 6). To put it in today's language, He is calling out, "Daddy! Daddy!" The Spirit is always praying the Father's will, and the Spirit is housed in you (Rom. 8: 9, 11, 15, 26-27; 1 Cor. 6: 19).

At some level, in every believer, prayer is always happening. The praying life is Christ. It is the life of Jesus Christ operating in you.

The key to learning to live a praying life is this: Learn how, more and more often, to tap into the undercurrent of prayer, the active presence of Jesus in you. Join your voice with His in harmonious prayer. When I became a young adult, I realized that a praying life was not built on information communicated from one person to another, but on a life-absorbing relationship with God.

I sensed the difference between a prayer life and a praying life, and I knew which one I craved. I knew that there was only one who could teach me to pray—who could be my prayer teacher. To Him I brought my inadequacy and my hungry heart.

"Lord," I cried, "I know how to say prayers, but I don't know how to pray. Teach me to pray!" In response to my heart's cry to teach me deep truths about prayer, God began to open His Word to me in new ways.

Familiar passages took on fresh meaning. Dull, dry passages pulsed with new life. I felt myself being "taught by the Lord" (Is. 54: 13).

To this day, some 40 years since I embarked on this soul-quest, it is still new. Each time I discover a concept, He brings me opportunities to put it to the test. The words of the Scriptures shape my life and define my experiences. Slowly but surely, He is building my life into a praying life.

As I submitted myself to God for instruction in prayer, He seemed to ask me, "Jennifer, why do you want to learn to pray?" I knew all the "right" answers, but they had a hollow, false ring to them.

My experience must have been similar to Peter's. How surprised he was when Jesus did not accept his glib answer to the question, "Peter, do you love Me?" Each time Jesus asked, Peter must have been forced to look deeper inside his heart for the true answer. That is always God's starting place—your truth. No matter how ugly your truth is, He can work from it. What He can't work from is pretense.

As He had with Peter, God peeled back the layers of my practiced, memorized answers that I got from other people until my truth emerged. And my truth was not pretty. "Father, I want to know how to pray so that I will know how to get You to do what I want You to do when I want You to do it. I hope to learn how to make the best possible use of prayer for my benefit."

Once I reached that point of honesty, I knew my course was set. God could work with me now because He could begin with my weakness. At the point of my weakness, His strength would be put on display.

My prayer teacher could begin by teaching me a new purpose for prayer. This book tells of my journey so far. But the journey never ends. Every single day I learn something new about prayer, or I learn something in a deeper way. It is my hope that when others read what I have learned and the inner changes that have occurred, they will be inspired to sit at the Master's feet.